The Z Street News

BodyBugg is a Piece of Crap!

2009-05-11T18:57:00.002-05:00

Yes, I got me a bodybugg.

I'm sure it records data. In fact, the very few times I've been able to upload the data to the server, it appears that the product actually works. Sort of. It didn't record steps for my sprints and, despite the fact that I had a 40-minute walk with sprints, it recorded only about 8 minutes of activity.

Most of the time I have a problem with the bodybugg server not being able to upload the data. I think they promoted the heck out of this thing and then didn't think to compensate for the overload to their servers.

Ever since this thing came out it hasn't been able to remember my login no matter how many times I told it to remember me. What a piece of crap!

So, I called the technical service line. Despite being told about every 5 seconds how important my call was, no one answered. After 15 minutes I gave up.

Bodybugg sucks. Don't but it. I don't care what they say about having improved their service. Maybe that means they only have about 60 errors instead of 65 when people upload.

Their customer service sucks, too.

Silent Poetry Reading

2009-02-02T18:37:00.002-06:00

Sure on this shining night
Of starmade shadows round,
Kindness must watch for me
This side the ground.

The late year lies down the north.
All is healed, all is health.
High summer holds the earth.
Hearts all whole.

Sure on this shining night
I weep for wonder
wandering far alone
Of shadows on the stars.

— James Agee (1909-1955)
excerpt of "Description of Elysium" from Permit Me Voyage

Click to hear the version set to music by Samuel Barber.

A Silly Dog Post

2009-01-04T11:18:00.001-06:00

A link to this was emailed to me by a dog-loving friend. It's a bit late for Christmas, but it's still fun. Now, if only I could train my dog to do this!

Silly Post Revisited

2009-01-01T22:33:00.002-06:00

The first lines from the first posts of each month of 2008:

In 2007 I resolved to clean out/reorganize my sewing/knitting/craft room. Here is my offering (late once again) for the annual Silent Poetry Reading day. We have a saying hereabouts where I live. Dear Jim, I hope you can help me here. OK, this one is borrowed from Minnie's blog. I’ve been reading more of “Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism.” [no posts for July] I injured my right shoulder (doing lovely, domestic things) in such a way that it has been painful to extend my hands to a keyboard for typing. You don’t have to go far to find anyone expressing an opinion on Sarah Palin’s pregnant-and-unwed 17-year-old daughter.

Yup. Definitely, um, nice.

Yet Another Rant . . .

2008-09-08T11:08:00.001-05:00

OK, the GenX baby in my office is going on and on about how yesterday was the hardest day he’s ever had.

He was playing paintball. Again.

Oh, gawd, how hard can your freakin’ life be if the hardest you’ve ever been on your body comes from playing a stupid game?

I moved plastic containers of fabric and yarn and other crap from the storage unit to our CRV and then into the garage. And then I hefted them around to get everything laid out in a reasonable way. And then I tugged boxes of crap from the guest room (after moving around boxes of stuff that need to go back to the storage unit) out to the garage. And then I was jumping about for four hours helping ~~scavengers~~ customers go through it all and find their treasures. I made about $100 (which about covers the cost of the gas we used to run around in preparation for all of this).

Did I mention that GenX baby makes more money than I do?

And he still lives at home with mommy?

And that I’m 2 years older than his mommy?

Life is freakin’ hard some days, you know?

Women's Rights - and Wrongs

2008-09-03T10:05:00.002-05:00

You don’t have to go far to find anyone expressing an opinion on Sarah Palin’s pregnant-and-unwed 17-year-old daughter. I’m mostly amused to see how certain groups of people seem to have shifted from their traditional stances on this information. I mean, if Chelsea Clinton, who is much older than 17, were to announce she were pregnant out of wedlock, I’m sure we’d have had a lot of left-leaning folks spouting a lot of rhetoric about a woman’s right to make her own decisions about her body and reproductive processes, and a lot of right-leaning folks spewing forth vile declarations of how this is not an example of family values and how it would make Hilary Clinton unfit for public office. Alas, the tables are turned around and upside down.

Anyone who has read my blog previously knows that I support very firmly a woman’s right – nay, duty – to act responsibly. I also advocate this very strongly for men. And I don’t restrict it exclusively sexual conduct and reproduction.

Thus, I have constructed the following little dialog with the little pundits running around in my head:

Do you believe a woman have a right to make her own decisions about her body and reproductive processes?

Yes. But I believe she has to make responsible decisions, and that means the decision to employ contraceptive methods and/or devices if she does not plan on becoming pregnant. And that also means the decision NOT to have sex in the first place.

Do you believe a pregnant-and-unwed (it’s pretty much one word now, have you noticed?) 17-year-old is an expression of family values?

I think “family values” is an ill-defined buzz word developed for the sake of punishing those whose values are not in alignment with one’s own; as such, I think the question is foolish.

OK, so do you believe a 17-year-old has the right to get pregnant even if she’s not married?

Sure, so long as she’s mature enough to think of others before herself (which, after all, is one of the hallmarks of maturity) and that she has the means — physical, emotional, and financial — to raise the baby. Unfortunately, for most 17-year-old girls today, that wouldn’t be the case.

So, are you saying that Sarah Palin’s daughter should have an abortion?

While I don’t believe any woman’s abortion is the business of anyone except herself, her God, and her doctor, I personally don’t believe in abortion as a means of retroactive birth control. And it’s a fallacy to think that the only options here are abortion or raising the child herself.

So, are you suggesting a pregnant-and-unwed 17-year-old shouldn’t get married?

If she and/or the father of the child aren’t mature enough to get married, then they should not get married and they should offer the child for adoption. It’s likely the best choice for all parties concerned, and that includes the baby-to-come.

Doesn’t all of this suggest Sarah Palin shouldn’t be running for public office?

Nope.

But, she’s a hypocrite! She goes on and on about family values, and here she doesn’t have a strong enough relationship with her daughter to keep her daughter from getting pregnant out of wedlock?

That only makes her human. Look, if Sarah Palin’s daughter weren’t pregnant we wouldn’t even be questioning her parenting skills or suggesting she’s a hypocrite when it comes to family values. The daughter would still be sexually active, and we’d be none the wiser. It’s sort of like George W’s daughter who got married fairly recently – I’m sure she wasn’t a virgin on her wedding night, but no one really thinks about that because it’s none of our business.

Oh, so that makes you a McCain-Palin supporter!

Nope. It makes me a person in charge of my own opinions.

I'd Like to Thank Everyone

2008-08-27T11:57:00.002-05:00

This is the text of an email I sent out to friends and family on Monday (25 August):

Time for a Kick in the Attitude

Actually, I’ve needed this for a couple of weeks or more now. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and under-enthused, particularly when it comes to doing the things I need to do in order to keep up with my goal of losing 50 lbs by my 50th birthday. When I got sick with a sinus infection (second weekend in August), it was like I lost all desire to do anything healthy afterward.

Somebody cue the violins as I sing the “Poor Me” song: Oh, poor me! I have no desire to take care of myself properly! I don’t want to exercise or plan my meals! I’m not getting enough positive attention! This is so hard! Oh, oh, poor me! I don’t get enough sleep (the dog keeps waking me)! I don’t have time to cook for myself! The kitchen is a mess! I don’t have time to do the creative things I want to do! I have 12 loads of laundry waiting to be done when I get home! Oh, poor, poor, me! I’m so bereft that I can’t even make this little whiney rant rhyme!

Hey, if you think that’s bad, try having it running around in your head every day for three weeks!

I was feeling really good about myself a week ago because I’d gotten back into gear. I’d tracked my food, made little charts to check off certain things I needed to do (like take nutritional supplements, do some lunges, get my cardio done). That lasted all of one day. Oh, I had good intentions for the next day, but it was the second night in a row I’d not had good sleep and I was something of a zombie when I got to the office. It just got worse after that.

This morning I even flung off my bodybugg (that thing I’ve been wearing on my right arm that monitors my caloric expenditure) because I resent having to keep track. In fact, I resent that I have to do any of this work at all. Really, why should I have to exercise and watch my food intake and strengthen my body and get enough sleep?

Or, maybe the question I’m really asking is, “Why is all of this so hard to do when it’s beneficial and I feel good for doing it?”

All encouragement and insight is gratefully appreciated. I’m really in a hole and I need help to get out.

* * * * * * * * Here are the responses received * * * * * * * *

A swift kick in the keister is in order. You're having a case of the PLOM disease (Poor Little Ole' Me). Now just knock that crap off, pick yourself up, dust off and start from the beginning. It's going to be a lot harder to take it off than it was to put it on. I fight it every single day that I'm alive, awake and kicking. You can do this - look at all the progress you've made so far. You might just need to mix it up a little and change your routine to get your body going again.

You can do this, believe me. /ck

* * * * * * * *

I sympathize. There is a lot on your plate -- you don't have room for the calories but they keep jumping back onto the plate! Dieting is a bitch, ain't it! Keep it up and you can do it as I know how stubborn you can be about things. /mb

* * * * * * * *

[My son] and I volunteered for the National Disabled Veterans Olympics recently. Some of these brave souls were missing hands and feet, yet playing very physical soccer games on sport wheelchairs - and having fun! There are so many things to be thankful for. /bs

* * * * * * * *

We need to walk today for 30 minutes. I'm going to be there to listen, and I'm not going to judge. Also, since this is a short week, this is a good place to start. I'll see you at 1130 today at your building. / rr

* * * * * * * *

Why don’t you get back to basics. Before you eat it, ask yourself whether the pleasure is worth the calories. Do you really like the taste of it that well? And go for a walk – nothing is a better mood-improver in my honest and humble opinion. Go slow – stroll, look for birds. Take your camera and look for unusual pictures. Go by yourself so you can’t spend your time talking and complaining. Focus on the world instead of yourself. /vn

* * * * * * * *

I don't know if this will help, but Ed's laptop has been reloaded and is acting much better. Too bad we all can't just reboot once in a while to make us more active. Hang in there..... /jb

* * * * * * * *

Here's your weekly Food For Thought courtesy of Jim Canale: "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." -- Thomas Edison, Inventor

Remember to ask your questions:

1. How does this quote relate to my personal situations?

2. How could following this advice change the outcome of my situations?

3. In what way can I apply this idea to better produce the outcomes I desire in the future? /aj

* * * * * * * *

I know how you feel, girl. The kids started school today, and FROM WORK mind you, I had to sort out a stupid argument before they left for school. I was supposed to work out this morning too, and got here and just didn't want to...so I didn't. I started this morning and I'm hot and bitchy...I just want to stop the world for a minute and get off. I know it will get better, but I'm just tired and cranky. So I'm right there with you! Ok, here we go. I want you to say this with me, "This day WILL NOT beat me. I will smile cheerfully to others and greet them and resist the urge to answer truthfully when they ask how I am. I will watch what goes into my mouth today, as well as be careful what comes out of it. I will not allow negative energy to defeat me today." We will take each day, one at a time. /jg

* * * * * * * *

Boy can I relate!!!!

have been thinking this past week how I need to at least send you email to congratulate you on the ten pounds you've lost ( I gained two instead...), and to congratulate Ed on the scholarship. That all got trumped of course by the day to day stuff (messy house, kids that keep wrecking it the moment I get it cleaned, kids that whine and fight me when I tell them to pick it up, a husband who is gone more often than home thanks to two jobs, and blah blah blah. I had to have a pity party for myself Saturday too.

But why should I punish my body for my bad mood, by eating garbage? Why should I further damage my self-esteem by allowing myself to give in? Why reinforce my belief that I can't lose weight, by eating more high-calorie comfort food? Because the food tastes so darn good, of course. I don't need it, I hate myself for doing it, but like any other addiction, I like it too much to stop myself.

Despite how much better I feel when I am not so overweight, despite how much I like looking at myself in the mirror when I've lost weight, despite how much more shopping I can do because they have more of my sizes available, despite the attention I get from losing it, despite how much better I feel about myself for having a little self control, I still sabotage myself.

Like you, I don't think it's fair that high calorie foods have to taste so good. I will barf before eating something that's "good" for me that I don't like, and I don't like barfing at all. I don't think it's fair that my mom who lived off coffee and cigarettes most of her life is probably in better shape than I am simply because she is thinner and not putting as much stress on her internal body organs as I am. Rotating shift work doesn't help, but I can't blame that for all my problems. People who eat "right" and work shift don't have nearly as much problem dealing with the rotating schedule as I do. People who have nothing better to do after work than run 5 miles are just sick! They look great though, too.

Yeah, the world is unfair. As I think Bill Gates once said, "Get used to it." As my calculus teacher once said "Suffering builds character." I didn't realize how right he was at the time, as I was too busy thinking about how sadistic he was.

The best way to build self-esteem is by challenging yourself to "get out of your comfort zone" and try. Does victory feel as good if you didn't really have to try for it? (well, yeah, sometimes, but...does anything worthwhile often come easy? Do we learn patience by not having anything to test our patience?

When I first trained for my present job, I went home for 5 days in a row thinking "Maybe I can't do this. I don't think I should have done this. It's over my head. I'm going to wash out and fail at this, humiliating myself." But someone pointed out to me that "if the village idiot over there can learn to do it, so can you!" I had to change my mantra to "Keep trying anyway. Don't give up just yet. There is nothing wrong with trying." After another week of trying, I began to see the light. It sure helped to have support from my co-workers, and my husband cheered me on some, but it was still up to me to keep trying, to not give up. In the end, I was the only one who could do it for me.

And that's how I think weight loss has to be. My challenge isn't like my husband's challenge with weight, or my kids. So I can't expect them to take up the cause for me and cook the right foods, and so on. I have to pick up the grocery list and decide what foods I like that will be better for me. I'm not saying "never" to the high calorie good stuff, I'm just saying "Not so much anymore." Keep the candy for special occasions, as it was meant to be. Same with dessert.

It's all well and good to say all this- doing it is another thing. But maybe it helps you to know that you are not the only one who struggles and finds it hard. You are not the first person to feel sorry for yourself and cave in to desire. Caving doesn't make you a failure, it just makes you human. Forgive yourself, don't dwell on the mistakes, then try again. /sm

* * * * * * * *

Oh, poor me! I have no desire to take care of myself properly!
Ok, but this is the only body that you get...May want to make it last awhile!

I don’t want to exercise or plan my meals!
Who does? Life would be sooooooo much easier if we were those b**ches who could eat anything and not gain an ounce...But we're not.

I’m not getting enough positive attention!
So who are you doing this for? Yourself? Or are you doing it so that other people notice you? If you're doing it for yourself, that's the way to go. If you're doing this for the attention...Man, you are so screwed, 'cause trusting something so important like this to other people is asking for failure.

This is so hard! Oh, oh, poor me!
Since when is something easy as rewarding as this will be? And hop out of the pity pool and get into a real one and do some laps, girl!

I don’t get enough sleep (the dog keeps waking me)!
Why does the dog wake you? Is there a remedy for this?

I don’t have time to cook for myself!
No easy answer to this, but cook when you have time and freeze. This can also help with portion control.

The kitchen is a mess!
No excuse. Clean it up and get cooking.

I don’t have time to do the creative things I want to do!
Neither do I but do you hear me crying over it?

I have 12 loads of laundry waiting to be done when I get home!
Do you have to sit on your washer and dryer to make them work? Pop a load in, go exercise...Pop a load in and cook a meal. Pop a load in, stop it after it fills, let the stuff soak a bit and go for a quick walk.

Oh, poor, poor, me! I’m so bereft that I can’t even make this little whiney rant rhyme!
Again, out of the pity pool and into a real one and do some laps soldier! And it's no one's fault but your own that it doesn't rhyme! :P

*hugs* Honey, I know it's hard (as I watch the numbers on my own scale climb...) But you have to do it for yourself, and as much as everyone loves you, we can't do it for you...You have to do it for you. And one day, people will start to notice...I've found it takes a good 20+ pounds, but they will see it. /ks

* * * * * * * *

(You asked for a kick, so, here goes.)

You know you feel better after you've exercised, so "Just Do It!" You're not going to lose 50 pounds sitting around on your duff - you've got to instill better eating and exercise habits - don't you *dare* fall off the wagon now! (Imagine me doing a drill sergeant impression, here.) So you don't feel like sticking to your plan today - *too* *bad*! You *will* stick to your plan today! You *will* *not* indulge yourself in junk food today - that's the *wimp's* way! You *will* eat healthy foods today, in healthy portions! You *will* continue exercising! You *may* change the way you exercise, but you *may* *not* stop exercising! (Ok, that's all I can manage of the drill sergeant.)

You probably do need a change - just don't let that change be a total abandonment of what you're trying to achieve. You know it's going to take a while to lose those 50 pounds. It took a while to gain them, after all. So you're going to have to find ways to keep yourself motivated during the process. You might consider taking up some other thing that would be exercise - dancing, racquetball, roller derby? - not as a complete substitution for your workouts, but as a change of pace. I would also suggest talking to your trainer and, perhaps, your counselor. Just don't get the two mixed up - I don't think your counselor will be able to offer exercise advice that is as good as your trainer's :-)

As for the laundry/time/creative stuff quandary, the only encouragement/advice I have to offer is to do it a little at a time. Don't try to do 12 loads of laundry in one day (or even two). Do the most urgent load (or two) tonight. Then repeat the process tomorrow, and successive days until it's done. Yes, new laundry will accumulate in the meantime, but that can be incorporated into the priorities. Is there any way you can tag-team the laundry with Ed? One of you starts it, the other moves it from washer to dryer, and whoever is available removes it from the dryer? (If this is what you already do, obviously, ignore this suggestion.) /me

* * * * * * * *

Focus on the vision, not on the task at hand. Ha! Doesn't that sound profound, like a quote from someone important? It just popped into my head so I thought I'd pass it on. I had the vision for the painting before I even bought the canvas. I painted the town one building at a time. At the end of the session, the painting wasn't finished by any means, but the task was finished for that day and I could rejoice in that.

So, you're right. All of this planning, prep, etc., is the pits. We should all be as rich as Oprah and have our own cook, nutritionist, grocery shopper, etc. However, thinking that way is just going to heap insult on the reality of our own life. So just focus on making good food choices today, even if someone else has to prepare them. Stay away from the carbs and enjoy the protein.

Now you know everything I know. Do as I say, not as I do! Hang in there. We're all in this together. / jw

* * * * * * * *

Step one for today--put your BodyBugg back on ASAP!

Get back on the bike, horse, whatever metaphor works for what you fell off of.

Question to ponder: do you believe that you deserve to feel good? /tm

* * * * * * * *

What is this all about??? You are a very accomplished lady and you didn't get there just because you are not inteligent and gifted in the creative way. You are bigger than this weight thing. Yes, it is hard, but like you said, you really feel good when you do it and you feel good that you have done something. You have succeeded in so many things. This is just one more thing you can do. Stop the 'poor ol' me' routine. If you don't pull yourself up and get on the healthy life again you are saying that you are too old to learn something hard. This is hard, it is against everything you have done for 49 years. Are you afraid to succeed at this? Are you afraid to look and feel so good that you can't stand yourself? Your mom never had a weight problem because she had different eating habits than you do. ( We will not say anything about the cigerettes - my mom kept the weight off I think by smoking herself into her jar.) You can change and you will. None of us feel like doing anything that is hard when we are sick. But you are not sick and you just have to 'Do It'. Start now! /rs

* * * * * * * *

There isn't a person one that isn't, or hasn't, gone through exactly what you are experiencing, and you know what IT'S OKAY!!!!! The good thing is you can step through this and you can succeed! If it feels good give yourself a stress reduction day, take a long soaking bath with your favorite scents, and then find a restaurant and treat yourself to a wonderful salad that has a lot of different veggies and a really good wait staff, find some really wonderful rich chocolate and treat yourself to a piece, then feeling really refreshed and relaxed go for a walk or a bike ride and just enjoy nature. Then the next day you can go back to the Gym and the stricter diet but every once in a while you need to acknowledge your own efforts! Know we all support you and know you are on the right track--keep up the good work!!! /mm

* * * * * * * *

If 50 by 50 is a reasonable goal, then keep reminding yourself! Unfortunately, I would be happy with 30 lbs off for myself....and I am 62 so that isn't much encouragement! I wish it wasn't so much work to be well or get "well" too...not fair that some folks don't look like they put out any effort and are in great shape! Who said life was fair?!

Seriously, when you have an illness, I have found that the mental attitude takes a downturn...the meds don't seem to be working as well. You need to "pamper" yourself a little---eat some soups and things that felt good when you were ill, then work into your other routines. The old saying "take one thing at a time" is best attitude to have right now. You have so many things you are doing/like to do when you are well....I have same problem....when I am "up" I can really get a lot done, but otherwise it is a struggle.

You have been able to keep your goals this long, shouldn't be too hard to get back! As for exercise, try to walk if nothing else. /jp

* * * * * * * *

I sincerely feel you. But no worries because you are doing great! We all need to take a step back now and then. We regroup, remotivate, recover, and press on. It is so difficult to make lifestyle adjustments -- even more difficult to make several at the same time (e.g. amp up the exercise, eat right, take supplements, etc.). I am amazed at the progress you have made so far and think it's terrific you are hanging in there. We all have motivational highs and lows. One of the most underemphasized things that we find when tackling changes like this is the ability to cut ourselves some slack! If you push yourself too hard when you are not up to it, you can do more harm than good. So every once in a while, it's ok to throw the body bugg! Our bodies are amazing. They adjust and learn like you wouldn't believe. Changing things up is actually ok -- it gives us a needed break and allows us to continue on to even greater progress. So take care of you, first and foremost! Take care of your health -- the lack of sleep and rest and recovering from the sinus infection has worn you down (I'm assuming). That'll suck the motivation out of anyone. So get some rest... do something nice for yourself... "indulge" in a creative project to get the energy flowing. Pick one thing that you want to do, and just do it. Messy kitchen be damned (unless that is the thing you want to do). Start small. The motivation will come and it will pick up and grow. Then you can work back toward the body bugg and get back on track. But do pat yourself on the back for all the progress you have made. You are kicking butt!!!! Hang in there! You're doing great!!!! /gp

* * * * * * * *

I'm going to be gentle with you, because I'm in exactly the same place. It's not fair, is it? Shall we try the reward (bribe!) system for a couple of small goals and see if it helps? I know I feel so much better when I'm on track. /mw

* * * * * * * *

I'm reading a good book that talks about tapping into your subconscious/non-conscious brain to achieve all those goals we set with our conscious brain. They highly recommend meditation and visualization for working this miracle. Without harnessing the non-conscious brain, apparently, we can set all the goals we like, but we will not achieve them. This explains a lot.

I think you deserve to treat yourself really good to reward your efforts so far and to pamper yourself after your sinus infection, which are really horrible, debilitating things that sound a lot simpler than they are. The infection drags you into total lack of energy and lack of will. The antibiotics that fight the infection are pretty hard on your overall system too. Be kind to yourself for a couple of days and then send yourself back to boot camp!

Your goal is wonderful and I hope you will find/gain the strength you need to succeed. /dh

* * * * * * * *

I'm in the same hole with you dear, I'm not sure if it's a collective thing or not. I just figure for me I'm getting the sympathy tummy with our pregnant co-worker. And I need to get walking again! /kc

What-Did-You-Dream Game

2008-08-24T08:45:00.002-05:00

Lady Euphoria had a fun post about having to log her dreams as part of a creative assignment. I have hilarious, outrageous, and often inspiring dreams and they go back as far as childhood.

My most vivid memory is of a dream I had when I was around 6 or 7 years old. In the dream I'm riding a large red and white yo-yo (it came up to my chest and was big enough for me to lay flat upon) down a snowy hill near the house where I grew up. When I get to the bottom, it's not winter any more; it's summer and I'm floating over the intersection. In the intersection, spreading out to cover all four of the corners, as an enormous fried egg (sunny side up).

Yes, the dreams are that detailed. And vivid.

My husband doesn't remember his dreams unless they are utterly terrifying, and then the dreams are not as full of color and detail as mine. I suspect the lack of color part might have something to do with his being slightly color blind, but I also think it's because his mind just doesn't take in details the way mine does. (This is not to say he is not a detail-oriented person. He is, but it's limited to the things he does well, such as cooking, woodworking, and archeology. I seem to be all details, all of the time.)

As I've grown older I've had dreams that are more like stories that are trying to work out their own plot lines (no matter how outrageous the people and circumstances involved). This morning I dreamed that I was involved in some kind of espionage / protection plot. I was on top of a series of buildings and we were protecting a woman who was designated as "the prophet." At one point we realized she'd been taken and the general alarm was raised. I was running through a kind of dormitory where young men (soldiers, guards) were sleeping and I was waking them and berating them for being in their beds. Then the prophet appeared (turned out it was my friend Trish) and I realized these guys were sleeping because they'd just gotten back from rescuing her. There's more to it than that, of course. There were large copper or bronze coins with a date of 1639 stamped in them and small cups everywhere that people were using the put these coins in; I was going around and collecting them. At some point I was in a gift shop, which was when I realized that all of this was a sort of historic reenactment, but the kidnapping part had been real as it had been engineered by a group who, for political reasons, didn't approved of what we were doing.

I don't get Freudian about these dreams. They are a kind of adventure in my sleep, like books I wouldn't otherwise have time to read or films I wouldn't otherwise have time to see. The only time I become concerned is when I have dreams that are so frightening that I wake feeling tense and frightened. Those are dreams that I don't care to retell or even to remember because they're not worth dwelling on. About the only information they give me is that I'm upset about something and need to attend to it.

One of these days I'll have time to flesh out some of these dreams into viable stories. Like, when the laundry is done. :)

A Lava Load of Laundry

2008-08-23T20:34:00.007-05:00

It has been sorted into 12 loads. That's three loads of hang-up-out-of-the-dryer, three loads of towels & washcloths, two loads of T-shirts/shorts/knits, a load of blue jeans, two loads of socks/undies, and one load of a couple of blankets.

And that doesn't count the small load of dye session towels that are in now. (See the KFYS Club blog for pictures of yarn I dyed.) Those towels have to be washed in hot water in a load unto themselves lest the dye decide to migrate to other items. (The dye on the towels has not been fixed as it has been on the yarn. I'm not going to waste vinegar on towels that are for mopping up dye and other disgusting spills.)

The laundry has been accumulating for a few weeks due to illness (2 weeks ago) and a massive clean up (last weekend). It will probably take all week to get to this stuff. I'm going to take the load of socks/undies over to my mom's tomorrow so I can attend to them in between sewing and visiting and playing cards with her. I'm looking forward to getting away!

Buzz, Zoe, and the Snake

2008-08-21T10:36:00.000-05:00

This tale was sent to me by a friend, Buzz, who has just moved into a lovely house in the country. He has a dog, Zoë, who is a boxer. His neighbor and good friend is Dan.

I had a little adventure last night that I thought that all of you might find amusing. :-)

Well, there I was… at the house burning some cardboard boxes. I noticed that Dan had purchased a new planter. I went over to check it out. In the process I saw a snake near the planter. Of course I did what any big strong man would do…I jumped back in fear…literally. No, there was no screaming…this time.

At first I thought it was the same snake that I threw over the bank this weekend. It was a garter snake that got caught in the erosion mats and died. So, I got pissed off at the dogs for dragging this snake back up the hill. Zoe (the boxer) was standing next to me watching this whole display of manhood. Needless to say, she was not impressed.

So, I grabbed the hoe…no not, Ho…hoe. I thought I would get rid of this nasty thing again. I asked Zoe if she had done this and she told me, no. As I tried to grab the snake, it started to slither all over the place. Again, I did what any strong man would do…yes, I jumped back. That is when I figured out that this was a new snake caught in the erosion mat with the plastic mesh caught around its mid section and its head. Its head was under the mat and I could not look my foe directly in the eye. When I am locked in mortal combat, I like to look my foe in the eye…that’s how I roll. :-)

Anyway, I realized that this snake was going to die and I realized that if Dan saw this snake, he might die too. I didn’t want to lose my best friend. So, I figured since the snake was going to die a slow death, I would expedite his departure from this world. That is when I went whack whack with the hoe right where his head went under the mat. I figured that I would give my worthy opponent a chance to take his last breath in peace. I went back to the burn barrel and threw another couple boxes on the fire.

When I came back, I tried to free his little carcass from the erosion mat. Guess what, he started to slither all over again. Yes, you guessed it…I jumped back once more. Needless to say, Zoe was still not impressed with this whole scene. I told her to stay back and she looked at me like…I’m not getting near you, the hoe, or the snake…duh!

Once more, whack whack whack went the hoe and more boxes went onto the fire. I was sure that took care of my problem. I freed the snake and when I dropped his lifeless body on the ground, he took off like a shot down the hill. This time I was whacking wildly and chasing a snake down a steep embankment. He had deep indentions in his body. There was no way this snake could have survived this onslaught. I would have been dead from all the beatings. Zoe knew enough to stand back and avoid sudden death. Furthermore, my dog was the smartest animal in this whole situation.

Once again, I picked up the snake. His body draped over the head of the hoe. I finally had the opportunity to look my fellow combatant directly in the eye and then…his little tongue flicked all over the place. I threw him to the ground and once more, whack whack whack. This time he was dead. I took his battered body and threw him over the bank where we never go. He lies near his little buddy that met an early demise earlier this week. I believe two dead snakes over the bank constitutes a snake burial ground.

3 Foot Wild Garter Snake = Free

Simple Garden Hoe = $22.99 + tax

Boxer Dog = $400

200+ pound man getting the workout of his life versus a 12 ounce snake = priceless.

Oh, forgot to mention the fact that Dan was at work while this WWF grudge match took place. When I told him the story of the snake that would not die, he did what any big strong man would do…no, he did not jump back…he said, “Eeeeuuuuwwwww, ” and shuttered in disgust.

Obtainable Affirmations

2008-08-18T14:40:00.002-05:00

These were in my in box today. At last, affirmations I can aspire to in my ongoing quest for improved mental health. :)

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.

5. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

6. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.

7. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.

8. I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.

9. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.

10. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

Pyramids of Z Street

2008-08-16T11:50:00.002-05:00

I married an archeologist, so it should be no wonder that cleaning up our house is somewhat akin to the excavation of the tomb of Tutankhamen, with the exception that these are remnants of 20th century culture we're discovering.

"Honey, just how many Walkmans did you own?" I ask, picking out two of them from a cardboard box at the back of a closet.

"I kept breaking them," he says.

"You got the sport model," I observe, noting the bright yellow plastic casing. I don't ask why he didn't discard them. Archeologists don't discard anything; they leave them to be catalogued, tagged and stored, even if there are just pieces remaining.

"They were supposed to be stronger," he says.

"Can I turn this into a rag?" I ask, holding up a small t-shirt from B.R.A.N. 7 (the Bike Ride Across Nebraska in 1987). It's a size to fit a 10-year-old and it's full of holes.

He gives me a pained expression, the one that asks, How could you possibly think I would even consider it when it cost me a week of hard riding? I fold the shirt reverently and add it to a neat stack on the top shelf with his t-shirts from other bike rides. He doesn't wear them (they wouldn't fit any more anyway). They are trophies of a different place and time.

We were able to agree on some things to go into a garage sale: Some old lithographs that had belonged to his parents that he'd never much cared for in the first place, a dusty grey fedora that had been his father's, the bamboo torches (the kind that use lamp oil) we'd received as a gift 15 years ago but never used. I'll be putting in some skeins of yarn, an old punch bowl, some stuffed animals, and other craft items. There have enough to hold a nice garage sale and maybe we'll make enough to buy a textbook or two.

I'm embarrassed a bit to think how bent out of shape I got yesterday about money and costs and fancy dinners and absent fairy godmothers. As I go through the house and learn that we're well enough off to be able to get rid of some things, I know that I have nothing to complain about. We're making it; we will survive.

Considering my mother is near enough to death's door that she doesn't have to shout for God to hear her (and I tell her to remind Him that she'll be there soon enough to give Him what-for if He doesn't get off His heavenly arse to answer her prayers), it's nice to know she's praying for us every day.

Yep, I think we're going to make it through this.

Glass Slippers Cost Extra

2008-08-15T23:45:00.005-05:00

We learned that my husband was awarded a scholarship of $3,000 for the next year (so, about $1500 per semester). I was really happy about it until I learned that the loan amount he qualified for (about $9,500 for the year) was not enough to cover his tuition, fees, and books. See, I thought that his loan amount would be able to be reduced because he was given the scholarship. I thought the loan amount alone was supposed to have been enough to have covered tuition and fees and books.

Oh, I was so naive.

His tuition and fees for this semester came to about $6,400, so even after using half the total loan amount and half of the scholarship, we still had to pay out about $127. And that doesn't count the $800 we'll be spending on his textbooks this semester.

So, this program, which was advertised on the web site as costing about $10,000 total for the 18 months it runs, now looks like it will cost us around $21,000 once you include books and fees and God-kn0ws-what else.

I'm seriously bummed out. I feel as though we are, once again, shat upon from a great height. Oh, yes, I suppose I should be glad there was a scholarship to help us cover about $1,500 in tuition that would otherwise have come out of our pockets, but I'm still suffering sticker shock.

And while all of this was going on, I was blithely working away on some items needed for an extravagant birthday party that a client is helping to arrange for this weekend. What am I but the modern equivalent of Cinderella, toiling away in relative obscurity and penury while the wealthy sip wine at lovely meals and worry about nothing more than whether they are dressed properly for the evening.

There is no fairy godmother. There are no glass slippers that, when finally placed on my feet by the handsome prince, will reveal me to have been a princess after all.

This is the part of the story no one ever tells you: The part where, after Cinderella is rescued from her impoverished life, everyone else in town still has to deal with what they little they have. Apparently there is a shortage of fairy godmothers, handsome princes, magical glass slippers, and the rest of that stuff. It's sort of like the Powerball lottery -- you can buy a ticket, but there's only one lucky winner (and you're not it). And Cinderella has forgotten your name because she's in happily-ever-after land while you're still trying to figure out how you're going to make it to the end of the month without ending up in the poor house.

Toss me those glass slippers, girl. I'll sell them on eBay and then use the money for something useful.

The Laundry Olympics

2008-08-12T21:51:00.003-05:00

Honestly. I have to cheer myself on, have a little commentator in my head blathering on and on: "She's tackling the baskets by doing a pre-sort -- towels here, t-shirts there, socks over here -- and that's the mark of a real pro. Divide and conquer. See how she's got those towels going -- fold, fold, triple-fold! Excellent technique! Let's look at that again in slow motion: Yes, here's the first fold in half, then a quick flip to get it in half again, and then a deft motion to fold in each side on the middle and stack it up. These are perfect scores, people, for style and execution."

Why do they never give us medals for slogging through the every-day, annoying things of life that have to be done no matter how tired or sick you are?

This Mess is a Place

2008-08-11T11:53:00.006-05:00

This is the wreckage that is my kitchen and dining area. Brace yourself. I have more photos of the carnage:

It should make a reasonable person blush with shame. Dishes, papers, miscellaneous stuff, foodstuffs . . . Ed has the responsibility of cleaning up the kitchen area, and I have to clean up the dining area.

Oh, yeah, here's that detail photo:

Believe it or not, I've actually done some work on that area since taking the photo. I've got the trash bin half full with stuff thrown away and from emptying the shredder twice. I was thinking of using all of the shredded stuff for a papier mache sculpture -- you know, something as an homage to the mess, but I think these photos are enough.

Right now I'm contenting myself with throwing away what I can right away (catalogs, old magazines, old flyers) and setting aside the rest to go through. There are old statements that can be shredded, for example, and those silly "Pre-Approved" offers. Some letters and cards, of course, I am keeping. And I'm finding various odds and ends (packing tape, pens, glue sticks, buttons) among the mess. I might just have to bag up the stuff to be shredded and take it someplace because my lovely little home shredder is going to be overwhelmed, to say nothing of needing to be emptied every 10 minutes.

The best laid plans . . .

2008-08-11T08:22:00.002-05:00

This sinus infection has really put me down. Nothing has been done to improve the condition of our home since August 2-3 when I cleaned out a back room. The dining room is still overflowing with papers and crap that needs to be sorted (throw away, shred, and keep). I think I'll set up the TV so that I can watch Olympics stuff while I do that, presuming I can keep my head from exploding. Gawd, I feel like hell.

It's an exercise in faith for me to be among this mess without doing anything about it -- faith that I will feel better, faith that I will be able to tackle this soon, faith that it can be done without losing my soul in the battle to bring a bit of orderliness to our lives.

In my lucid moments this past weekend I've been enjoying some of the Olympic Games. I watched a bit of women's fencing (sabers) as well as women's sand volleyball and learned a little more about those sports. It seems that when it's a sport that doesn't get much air time on the networks you get to hear more informed commentary.

Last night I watched a bit of women's gymnastics qualifying, one of my favorites, and I was awake for some of the swimming races. I found myself rooting for the 4th swimmer on the US Men's 400 meter relay team. He looked to be bringing in the team at 2nd place, then he moved ahead and touched the pad at just .08 seconds before his rival on the French team. It was a spectacular finish, and an upset because the French team was expected to win.

Just before that I saw one of the women's team swimmers lose by .07 seconds to a rival on the Great Britain team in a 400 meter swim. Again, it was a beautiful and exciting contest. A swimmer from Italy was the favorite to win. A swimmer from France had the lead in the beginning, then the US swimmer pulled ahead after 250 meters. In the last 25 meters she was failing, and here came the swimmer from Great Britain who wasn't expected to get a medal at all. It was a great match -- a disappointment for the girl who worked so hard for that lead, to be sure, but a great match.

In an odd way, I find that this sinus infection has sidelined my plans and my progress on getting the house in order much in the same way an athlete gets sidelined for injury. I saw the utter frustration and sadness on the face of one of the US team gymnasts because she couldn't compete in floor exercise due to an injury that happened at the end of practice. She couldn't compete in that event and therefore would not qualify to compete for a medal in that event. (I saw on the news that she was able to compete in the uneven parallel bars.) She was prepared, but she ended up sidelined. Well, that's me. The difference is that I'll get better and be able to tackle this. The difference is that I'll never get a medal for dealing with this mess (but I'll be happier for it).

Bed Rest Today

2008-08-09T11:34:00.003-05:00

I have come down with a sinus infection. It started yesterday morning. I saw my doctor in the afternoon and was prescribed the appropriate medications. Today I feel as though someone inflated my head beyond it's usual capacity.

I did watch a lot of the opening ceremonies of the Olympic games last night on television. They were magnificent to watch. Pity we also had to endure the inane commentary of the NBC employees blathering on. At one point they were actually talking about how former tennis great Jimmy Connors was saying that the Wimbledon tennis match was the best ever this year. If they have nothing of substance to offer, they should keep their mouths shut.

This morning I watched a bit of the women's fencing (USA swept the podium) and learned a few interesting bits about that sport. It was nice that there was a commentator whose remarks were instructive. Unfortunately, the powers-that-be at NBC felt we also needed a "color" commentator, meaning someone to say things like, "She got her there!" and "Let's see the replay on that." This is also the person who felt it necessary to remind us repeatedly (as though we had trouble with short-term memory loss) that these were both from team USA and that it meant USA would have both gold and silver medals no matter the outcome, blah-blah-blah.

Of course, I'm sure we'll be treated to a heart-rending story for each athlete as the games go one. You know the kind: Joe Schmoe grew up in impoverished circumstances yet his family sacrificed and then his father or mother or brother or sister or favorite aunt is seriously ill at the moment and needs a heart transplant so Joe is competing for this relative or that. While I have no doubt that any of these athletes trained extraordinarily hard and missed out on certain activities with friends and family, etc., you don't have to look far into anyone's life to find some kind of tragedy and sacrifice. I believe it trivializes the efforts of the athletes as well as the sufferings of all to make such a huge drama out of ever life. Good heavens, life *is* drama. It's comedy and tragedy and it's played out every day. To edit a person's experiences into some kind of schmaltzy soap opera is disgusting and manipulative.

Ugh, no more soapboxes for me today. I need to go to bed.

Out with the Old

2008-08-03T11:00:00.002-05:00

As it turned out, I had a migraine for the remainder of Friday. It was the third one I'd had last week. I haven't had them this bad in a year. I think the combination of cleaning and weather triggered many of my allergens and these have been ganging up on me despite the medication I've been taking to hold them at bay.

I spent a lot of yesterday cleaning out a small bedroom that has become the dumping ground for times when we need to clean up in a hurry (such as the time when a storm knocked out power at my mom's and she had to come over to our house because she's on oxygen 24/7 and didn't have enough spares to last through the uncertainty of having the electricity come back on). The best part was when I found a cheap little tiara (my sisters and I had all gotten them for an occasion 3 years ago) which I placed on my head as I cleaned. I was the Princess of the Mess. It was silly and fun.

So, today our house is a bigger mess for all of the stuff pulled out of that room for sorting. We'll take a number of things to the storage unit, but likely not today since the temperature is so hot. I think we'll try for tomorrow morning when it's cooler.

To tell the truth, I don't find it particularly cathartic to be cleaning out this room. Some people express that feeling from cleaning out old stuff. I don't. It's just a job. I feel good when it's done. But I feel very good about getting rid of some of my old notions about worrying and such (as posted previously). That feels really good to be rid of.

Taking off the Masks

2008-08-01T23:30:00.003-05:00

I injured my right shoulder (doing lovely, domestic things) in such a way that it has been painful to extend my hands to a keyboard for typing. I didn't post because I reserved most of my energy for doing my paid jobs rather than blogging. It's just as well, I suppose. The things I'd have written about probably wouldn't have been worth reading.

For the past number of weeks I've been blown about by the wind, speaking in terms of my emotions. No, I'm not bipolar, so it wasn't like having to balance manic and depressive moods. What I am is someone who has to battle depression on a daily basis both with medication and with cognitive restructuring (in other words, changing the way I think about things). Things have been going reasonably well -- I'm still on my diet and doing the things I need to do in order to continue progress -- but there are still worrisome elements of life that have overwhelmed me, the big issues such as, "do we have enough money to get through this month?" and "what happens if the money runs out?" and "what if Ed can't get a job when he's done with school?" and "Oh, Lord, how will any of this ever work out?"

For the most part, I can stay positive and move forward. But I have days when I want to stay in bed and pray that I'll wake up to find it was all just a nightmare. It all came to a head last weekend when we went to see the film "Journey to the Center of the Earth." When the principle characters reached the point of no return (i.e., the moment when, like it or not, there was no going back so they were compelled to move forward into the unknown) -- which in this case was being trapped in a cave with 60 tons of rock covering the opening -- I felt the metaphor hit me like 60 tons of rock. Ed and I reached a point of no return once his job was eliminated and he was forced into retirement. We were unable to go back; there was only going forward into the unknown.

Yes, we did pretty well at first -- Ed was able to find part-time work and so was I -- but then Ed's part-time work went away (curses to CompUSA) and he was unable to find any other job. It seems that every other avenue of employment was closed to him, so he found a program of study that should take only 18 months, at the end of which he'll be a qualified surgical technician and able to get a decent job. I hope.

But we don't live in a movie script. There will be no finding of a wonderful new world and we won't find out way out in one heroic ride up a geyser that deposits us on a sunny vineyard in Italy with diamonds in our backpacks (you have to see the film to get it all), and it certainly won't be all tied up neatly and happily in a mere 92 minutes (or however long the film was).

So, I've worried. And worry made me feel depressed.

But today I learned that worry (as well as anxiety, anger, and even guilt) are just masks we wear to keep from seeing what we need to see. What is it we need to see? Well, for each of us it's different, so you have to figure it out for yourself.

For me, worry is sometimes a way I have of covering up that I'm really frustrated with not being able to control the outcome of things. Worry is a way of trying to control, because I often feel that if I give up control then everything goes wrong. (And that's a huge fallacy. Things were already crappy but I believed that if I could exert control over them they would then be good.)

Worry is also, for me, a learned behavior. Worry is a way to prove you care. Worry is a way to show concern.

Even if I've taken my medication it's possible for me to feel overwhelmed with worry. But the medication helps me to step away for a second and consider what positive steps I might take to deal with my situation. The medication helps me to remember that I can choose to not worry. The medication helps me to remember that worry is form of denial.

I am very thankful that medication has been developed to help me to overcome the effects of depression. I am very thankful that I've found a counselor who helps me to see the flaws in my thinking. And I am very thankful that my husband loves me in spite of my madness sometimes.

Life is pretty good, even with all of the crap floating around us.

Lewis Black to the Rescue

2008-06-07T11:03:00.004-05:00

I've been reading Lewis Black's recent book of essays, Me of Little Faith. I'm laughing my fat arse off! There is a section in which he describes the stereotypical dysfunctional family Christmas dinner. He suggests we not yell at one another so loudly lest we wake the baby Jesus. Geez, he nailed it in one!

I've had to put down the John Shelby Spong books for a while. I agree with nearly everything he says, but I find his writing a little preachy. He has a penchant for what I suppose he believes are rhetorical questions, but what really come across as saying, "Anyone who doesn't agree with me here is an idiot." Well, it comes across in a nice way, at least.

This past week there was an article in USAToday about a book that has come out which, if I understand the premise, is making fun of some of the silly stuff that Biblical scholars have come up with over time. A bunch of people were going a little nuts over the books, some upset that the Word of God was being made a joke and others trotting out their usual upset over what Christianity has done to them or the world (whichever, really, because they're all taking in 'way too peronally).

My post (among others) was that I have a faith that doesn't need defending in a country where freedom of worship is guaranteed.

Besides that, if you get upset over someone attacking your favorite book, then you don't have much faith to start with. Geez, like some of these people need to step in front of God and take the bullet? Give me a freakin' break!

I don't know exactly why these matters of faith are so important to me lately. I don't feel as though I've lost my faith in God, although I do know that I've lost my faith in people who profess to have a great and abiding faith (and who, incidently, will always be adamant that theirs is the only way to heaven).

God I don't have a problem with. People I do.

OK, my Spanish sucks

2008-06-02T09:46:00.001-05:00

It should have been, “Yo lo dije que tu no hablas inglés.” Well, the lady knew what I meant. I should work on those irregular Spanish verbs.

Maybe after the laundry is done.

¿Que Quieras?

2008-06-02T09:43:00.000-05:00

I’ve been reading more of “Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism.” When I consider what I’ve read and the time period in which it was published, I am less challenged by what Spong is writing. He gives a brief history of the various texts but only from the standpoint of describing how few if any of these accounts can be described as a literal history written by only one person. I’d never really believed the Bible was literal, but I’d believed some of the accounts. Now I understand that some of the O.T. books, for example, were in fact stories for the purpose of illustrating a particular point of view. The book of Job, for instance, or of Ruth. I just started in on the section about the N.T., and I was aware of the borrowing among the authors of the synoptic Gospels, but I wasn’t aware of how awful Mark’s grammar was! It’s kind of funny, really, when you think about how people could get so worked up over something that was written on the other of, “He been coming very awful…” (sorry, that’s not from the book; rather, it’s my attempt to show poor grammar much as it was from what I’d read last night). I suppose you could say that I don’t ascribe as much value to those books any more; rather, the things I value have to do more with attitude than with historical writings.

When Ed and I were on the flight from Albuquerque to Dallas, I was seated next to a woman who spoke only Spanish. Except I didn’t know that at first. All I saw was that I was to be squeezed between Ed and an older woman who had too much stuff with her, and I was crabby. Then, as we were still on the ground and at the gate, the woman called out, “Senorita” to the passing attendant. The attendant didn’t hear her, but I figured out that the woman probably didn’t speak much English. Also, her voice was kind of weak. She had a cane with her. So, I chanced what little Spanish I knew and asked her, “¿Que quieras?” (“What do you want?”) The lady then asked if I spoke Spanish and I told her I did a little, so she rattled off something, but she was gesturing with her coat, so I asked her “¿Quieras lo …?” and I pointed upward to the overhead bin. She nodded, so I handed the coat over to Ed who put it up for her. And then the lady and I started on a bit of conversation, which was rather amusing because I’d have to nudge Ed from time to time and ask, “What’s the word for ….?” and “What does this mean….?” It turned out the lady was visiting her nephew in Albuquerque, she was on her way back to Mexico City, and she was a tree specialist. In the end, it was a pleasant flight. Plus, Ed and I helped her to get her bags and stuff down from the bin and carried out to the gate where they got her on a tram to her concourse and gate. And I explained to her that I’d told the attendant there that she didn’t speak English. (“Yo lo dicho que tu no hablas inglese”)

So, here’s where all that was leading to: I was a complete crab until I learned the lady needed help, and then I realized I had to get over my own complaints in order to be strong for her. Would I have done that if she’s spoken English? Would I have done that if she’d been able to get up for herself and take care of her stuff? Sadly, I don’t think so. So, how do I get over my own crap and be pleasant and helpful without needing someone to need me first? How do I learn to be kind and exhibit a more Christ-like attitude every day?

I suppose awareness is, as usual, the beginning.

Who Owns Jesus?

2008-05-31T15:14:00.002-05:00

I’m not sure where this entry is headed. It comes as a result of two events: (1) a nice conversation I had with the pastor of my church about what happens when you have a faith community based on relationships instead of rules; and (2) various things I’ve been reading about Christianity.

As for the first item, there was one insight in particular that has been gnawing at my consciousness: If you have a faith community (i.e., a church or a religion or a group of like-minded believers) based on relationships instead of rules, then the bottom line is that there is no single path to forgiveness or redemption or salvation or eternal life or any of that stuff. The upshot of it is that nobody “owns” Jesus or the keys to heaven.

Remember that wonderful passage in the New Testament letter to the Romans in which Paul (or whoever really wrote it) says something to the effect of, “Yes, I know there are dietary restrictions that many Jews find it important to follow, but I don’t have to follow them because my faith isn’t about what I eat or drink or any of that. On the other hand, if it causes a problem for my brother-in-faith, I’ll observe those restrictions out of my love and respect for him and his beliefs.” (Yes, that’s very much a modern interpretation. For complete reading, check out Romans 14 (whole chapter), and 1 Corinthians 8:13.)

Basically, if your spirituality isn’t bound by laws, then you are free to seek it according to your own way, presuming you are not bringing harm to others. Therefore, I can’t say, “You’re not Catholic, so you’re not going to heaven.” Nor can I say, “You’re not Christian, so you’re not saved.”

As for the second item, I started reading two books by John Shelby Spong, a retired Anglican/Episcopal bishop. One of the books is Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism: A Bishop Rethinks the Meaning of Scripture; the other is Why Christianity Must Change or Die: A Bishop Speaks to Believers In Exile.

I admit from the outset that I am at times gratified and at other times very much challenged by what this author writes about Christianity. As a woman, I have often experienced the second-class citizen status traditionally accorded by men of many faiths based on their traditional reading of the Bible. As a Christian, I am appalled by some of the stories in the Bible (particularly the story in Leviticus wherein Lot sacrifices his two young daughters to a marauding crowd in order to protect two angels – one preacher I’d listened to on that text turned my stomach). As a human being, I am furious with the Christian Imperialism I encounter on a daily basis (i.e., the idea that only Christians are beloved of God, and then only those Christians who fit a certain model).

On the other hand, I rather like believing in the corporeal resurrection of Jesus. I even sort of like believing in a magical virgin birth. I rather like the idea of miracles, to own the truth, because I rather like the idea that as human beings we have to admit that we can’t prove everything (and therefore we need faith). According to Spong, these magical things aren’t possible because science doesn’t support it. *sigh*

Spong has some excellent credentials and academic supporters. His critics can say the same. When I read some of the remarks of Spong’s critics, they show some weaknesses in Spong’s reasoning and interpretations.

The bottom line, however, is that I’m tired of the bickering.

While I appreciate Spong’s insight into various aspects of the original texts of the Bible, and while I recognize that the Bible is only the way it is because of the people who decided what made it into the book and what was rejected, I just don’t think that anybody really knows what the whole truth of it is.

But it can’t ever just stay that way, i.e., with everyone agreeing that no one really knows everything and therefore we shouldn’t be so easy to condemn one another when our beliefs don’t coincide. The Christian traditionalists and the Christian modernists seem to be engaged in a recruitment battle, each claiming he/she knows what the “real” truth is about Jesus, the Creator, Christianity, etc. (None of this takes into account the Jews and Muslims and everyone else from this tradition who are adamant that theirs is the only way to know God.)

On a flight from Dallas to Omaha this past Wednesday evening I was seated next to a man who works at the Open Door Mission in Omaha. As we were talking, he would insert some of the usual catch-phrases into the conversation. One I recall in particular was his remark about the problems of the homeless are rooted in the breakdown of the family, and he went on to describe the breakdown of the family as being caused in part by both parents working outside the home. He also said that getting a divorce was too easy.

I told him that I don’t believe that homosexuality is responsible for breaking down families. (This common cry among those who condemn homosexuality always brings to my mind images of homosexual gangs roaming neighborhoods in search of heterosexual families who don’t have their homes properly barricaded against these gun-toting intruders.) The breakdown of families comes as a result of people (1) having babies when they really aren’t economically or psychologically prepared for the responsibility, (2) parents who place their children at the emotional epicenter of their homes, and (3) marriage being too easy to obtain.

In the end, he certainly agreed with me that not all children of stay-at-home moms are the most mature kids in the world (and he gave an example of one of this own grandchildren) and that not all families with both parents working outside the home are falling apart. He also agreed that men and women were making babies before they were prepared to take on the whole responsibility that a family entails. And he laughingly agreed that marriage is possibly too easy to obtain. He didn’t take on the comment about homosexuality.

There: we found common ground without having to argue. He’ll probably go on believing the homosexuals are condemned just as I’ll certainly go on believing they are loved as they are in God’s eyes. Each of us thinks we’re right. Each of us remains a Christian.

OK, to tell the truth, I hope that this other guy’s faith experience opens up so that he doesn’t feel the need to cling to some ideas I think are unkind. But I’m not going to condemn him to hellfire and damnation just because he doesn’t see things my way.

Laughter: Another Form of Therapy

2008-05-13T07:34:00.001-05:00

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
5. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
6. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. Alternatively, order your coffee with extra caffeine.
7. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
8. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.

9. Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
10. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.

11. Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask them to settle the disagreement.
12. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! Third time this week!"
13. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
14. When standing with people in an elevator, slap your head several times and shout, “Shut up in there!”

Book Meme Redoux

2008-05-10T07:50:00.003-05:00

OK, this one is borrowed from Minnie's blog. According to what she posted, . . .

What we have here is the top 106 books most often marked as "unread" by
LibraryThing’s users. As in, they sit on the shelf to make you look smart or
well-rounded. Bold the ones you've read, underline the ones you read for school,
italicize the ones you started but didn't finish.

One note: If the title appears in Blue, then I know my husband read it. (So, if it's both Blue and Bold, then I read it and my husband did.) He has read a lot more than me!

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi : a novel
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
Ulysses
Madame Bovary
The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre
The Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler’s Wife
The Iliad
Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations
American Gods
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Atlas Shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran : a memoir in books
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked : the life and times of the wicked witch of the West
The Canterbury Tales
The Historian : a novel
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Love in the Time of Cholera
Brave New World
The Fountainhead
Foucault’s Pendulum
Middlemarch
Frankenstein
The Count of Monte Cristo
Dracula
A Clockwork Orange
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible : a novel
1984
Angels & Demons
The Inferno (and Purgatory and Paradise)
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Mansfield Park
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D’Urbervilles
Oliver Twist
Gulliver’s Travels
Les Misérables
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
Dune
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury
Angela’s Ashes : a memoir
The God of Small Things
A People’s History of the United States : 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A Confederacy of Dunces
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Dubliners
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Beloved
Slaughterhouse-five
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake : a novel
Collapse : how societies choose to fail or succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
Persuasion
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics : a rogue economist explores the hidden side of everything
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance : an inquiry into values
The Aeneid
Watership Down
Gravity’s Rainbow
The Hobbit
In Cold Blood : a true account of a multiple murder and its consequences
White Teeth
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
The Three Musketeers

OK, personally, I don't believe this is a list of books that no one reads. I think it's more likely that this is a list of books from someone's library. Anyway, it was a fun meme.

Meme Redux

2008-04-19T13:28:00.002-05:00

This one is going around again on email. You put an X for each item you've done, then answer the questions below.

() Gone on a blind date

(X) Skipped school

(X) Watched someone die

() Been to Canada

() Been to Mexico

(X) Been to Florida

(X) Been on a plane

(X) Been lost

(?) Been on the opposite side of the country — what’s opposite? I live in the middle!

(X) Swam in the ocean

(X) Cried yourself to sleep

() Played cops and robbers

() Recently colored with crayons

(X) Sang Karaoke

(X) Paid for a meal with coins only?

(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?

(X) Made prank phone calls

(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose

(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue

(X) Danced in the rain

(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus

() Been kissed under the mistletoe

() Watched the sunrise with someone you cared about

(X) Blown bubbles

(X) Gone ice-skating

(X) Been skinny dipping outdoors

(X) Gone to the movies by yourself

1. Any nickname? None you can say in polite company.
2. Mother's name? Elishka
3. Favorite drink? Diet Pepsi
4. Tattoo? None
5. Body piercings: Just the ears
6. How much do you love your job? Which one?
7. Birthplace? Iowa, the state of perfect nothingness.
8. Favorite vacation spot? England
9. Ever been to Africa? No
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Probably
11. Ever been on TV? Yes
12. Ever steal any traffic signs? Who wants to know?
13. Ever been in a car accident? Yes
14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? 4 door
15. Favorite salad dressing? Bleu Cheese
16. Favorite pie? Apple
17. Favorite number? none
18. Favorite movie? Not just one, and too many to enumerate
19. Favorite holiday? Christmas
20. Favorite dessert? Hot chocolate fudge brownie sundae
21. Favorite food? Vegetable Samosas
22. Favorite day of the week? Any day I can sleep in.
23. Favorite brand of body wash? If it smells good, I’m all for it.
24. Favorite toothpaste? If it tastes good, I use it.
25. Favorite smell? Celery – it’s so fresh!
26. What do you do to relax? Knit, read, play mindless computer games.
27. How do you see yourself in 10 Years? Sox2 (same old same old)
28. Farthest Place you will send this message? Cyberspace has no bounds.
29. Who will respond to this the fastest? Doesn’t matter.

Freakin' Monday (Redux)!

2008-04-14T08:59:00.001-05:00

Once again, Monday has come like a ton of bricks just when I was feeling like I could finally relax. What a pile of merde this weekend turned out to be! I was tired all day Saturday, went out with “the girls” on Saturday night and found myself stuffed into a tiny booth with 4 other people at a crowded restaurant, then we squeezed around a tiny table at the Funny Bone. Nice company, but uncomfortable surroundings.

Yesterday, I did laundry, struggled through a knitting design (lots of ripping and swearing), and did some reading. I didn’t even get out of my pyjamas! There just wasn’t enough weekend in my weekend. I was too tired through it all.

I watched a bit of the first Godfather film on television on Sunday. More and more, I realize it’s a modern-day Shakespearean tragedy. I wouldn’t say that of the book, actually, because the book reads a lot like “true crime” pulp, but the film is masterful in how it highlights the interpersonal relationships and how each person’s personality contributes to his/her downfall.

I also watched most of The Da Vinci Code film late last night (something to accompany the knitting that was finally working out). I found myself wondering whether we’d have had a film at all if the last scion had turned out to be a crabby menopausal drama queen who was an obese lesbian. All of which is to say that such speculation is obviously fiction if the object of the obsession can only be a skinny, smart woman who knows how to handle a gun. Frankly, I don’t care whether Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married or not. It doesn’t matter to me or my faith in the least. But I do strongly believe that everyone who made themselves upset over the book and/or the film deserved their angst. Sheesh! It’s fiction, people! It’s an heroic tale! It’s not real life!

This is real life: You’re middle class and struggling financially; you’re middle-aged and overweight in a world that worships the young and thin and brainless; you spend your weekend on no greater adventure than getting the laundry done. They can’t even make “reality TV” that real because no one would watch it.

Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

2008-04-03T08:28:00.000-05:00

Dear Jim,

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years.

When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. He'd carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless.

I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Susie Fox

Dear Susie,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the clips holding the vacuum lines onto the inlet manifold for air leaks. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.

Jim

Movie Meme

2008-03-24T22:00:00.006-05:00

OK, like anyone really reads my blog . . .

The rules:
1. Pick 10 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie (or get them out of your capacious memory).
3. Post them on your blog for everyone to guess.
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. Looking them up is cheating, please don’t.

Here goes. One point if you guess the film, extra point if you know which character said it.

A. "I'm telling you this guy is protected from up on high by the Prince of Darkness."
ANSWER: The Usual Suspects, spoken by Sgt. Jeff Rabin (played by Dan Hedaya)

B. "It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live." (from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's / Philosopher's Stone, spoken by Dumbledore -- 2 pts each to ME and Vision Sister)

C. "It left us speechless, quite speechless I tell you, and we have not stopped talking of it since." ANSWER: Emma (the Gwyneth Paltrow version), spoken by Miss Bates (played by Sophie Thompson, who is Emma Thompson's sister)

D. "It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca, and the Germans have outlawed miracles." (from Casablanca, of course, 1 pt to Vision Sister and Leann.) Spoken by Signor Ferrari (played by Sidney Greenstreet).

E. "I saw Mrs. Claypool first. Of course, her mother really saw her first but there's no point in bringing the Civil War into this."
ANSWER: A Night at the Opera, spoken by Otis P. Driftwood (played by Groucho Marx).

F. "I know the presidents' chief advisor, we were at MIT together. And, at this point in time, you really don't want to take advice from a man who got a C minus in astrophysics." ANSWER: Armageddon, spoken by Dr. Quincy (played by Jason Isaacs -- and you thought he only played Lucius Malfoy!)

G. "There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?" (from Love Actually, spoken by Karen, who was played my Emma Thompson -- 2 pts to Vision Sister)

H. "Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English."
ANSWER: The Fifth Element, spoken by Korben Dallas (played by Bruce Willis)

I. "It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage." (from Raiders of the Lost Ark, spoken by Indiana Jones, who was played by Harrison Ford -- 2 pts to leann)

J. "Somewhere out there is a lady who I think will never be a nun." (from The Sound of Music, spoken by the countess -- 2 pts to leann)

OxyMoronic Ideas about Cancer and "Organic Food"

2008-03-24T12:46:00.001-05:00

A lady I know was recently diagnosed with cancer. A bunch of people organized to bring food over to her house (to ease at least one burden on her family while she’s in treatment). Then I learned that, on the advice of her children who are “in the health professions” (as one person put it), this lady now prefers to eat only “organic” foods lest something she eats would encourage the cancer to grow.

Fact: All foods are organic.

Fact: Even foods that carry the “organic” label (a specific designation from the FDA about how the foods are grown) aren’t necessarily more healthful than other foods. (See http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/organic-food/NU00255)

Fact: Even “organic” pesticides (those derived from plants rather than synthesized) can be dangerous to humans. (See Pesticide Information Profiles: Rotenone. June, 1996. Pesticide Information Project of Cooperative Extension Offices of Cornell University, Oregon State University, the University of Idaho, and the University of California at Davis and the Institute for Environmental Toxicology, Michigan State University. http://extoxnet.orst.edu/pips/rotenone.htm)

I won’t be bringing food to this lady. I’m sorry for her condition, but I’ll provide non-food help from afar (i.e., the best I can do right now is pray for her) just because it seems foolish to provide help to someone who believes the hype about “organic” foods. I mean, really, if I bring over chicken stew do I have to provide proof that everything was grown/raised “organically” lest they throw it away?

Inasmuch as I understand that people are upset with the cancer diagnosis, a radical change in diet is not going to make the cancer go away. Even if their children are “in the health professions,” that doesn’t mean they’re immune from deception about “organic” foods.

While there are specific links between some genetic codes and certain types of cancer; and while there are specific causal relationships between certain behaviors and certain types of cancer, it remains true that we really don’t know why there is cancer: why it appears in some people and not in others, how it starts in the first place, and what really kills it. It’s frightening to have any kind of cancer as a diagnosis, even for something that is treatable.

I have a maternal aunt who had a radical mastectomy (about 20 years ago) because she had breast cancer. She and her sisters (including my mother) smoked like chimneys for years. Why didn’t any of them get lung cancer? Why did one of them get breast cancer but none of the others did? Guess what: All of them are alive and they’re in their 80s. My mother is the one who developed COPD (the only genetically linked disease among them – their mother had it, and their mother didn’t smoke) and emphysema. Aunt Helen had breast cancer. Aunt Mary has had a heart attack (and she wasn’t the only Type A personality among them) and fights psoriasis. None of these women have lived more than 100 miles from where they grew up; in fact, all of their life experiences were quite similar (the difference being that my mother had 10 children).

So, why did one person (we’ll call her T) develop ovarian cancer in her 30s when she had no risk factors for it?

Why did another person (we’ll call we W) develop several different kinds of cancer (the first round was breast cancer at age 60, the next 2 – other forms – about 25 years later) when there was no family history and she ate a healthy diet?

Another woman (we’ll call her K) developed breast cancer but was treated with chemo and has been cancer-free for 20+ years.

There’s a whole lot of why out there. There’s a whole lot that nobody knows.

But here’s the good news: We’re a lot better at being able to treat it than we were even 20 years ago.

But nobody gets better through fear-mongering and misguided notions about foods affecting cancer.

Indexed

2008-03-22T18:09:00.000-05:00

This is the greatest math-for-non-math-people site I've ever seen. I understand a book of her stuff was to have come out this past February. I'm going to look for it now.

Test Message

2008-03-22T18:00:00.001-05:00

OK, I'm trying out this this where I just email to my blog and it posts automatically. If this works, I'll be a bit happier. /jb

I always knew it . . .

2008-03-21T16:31:00.001-05:00

Take the Quiz here!

Getting My Head Above Water

2008-03-17T19:35:00.001-05:00

I've been well for about a week, but I've been so buried it's not funny. It'll be nice when I can cut back to only two jobs.

The Battle of the Crud

2008-03-03T21:08:00.002-06:00

It hit me last night around 10:00 p.m. : The creeping crud, what's going around, or whatever else you want to call it. My husband has had a cold for about a week (probably a sinus infection, but he never goes to see a dr), people around me at my jobs have been succumbing to various respiratory illnesses, some viral and others bacterial.

For me, it's a sinus infection (confirmed: Not the latest influenza virus going around, according to my dr). I do not wait to see how long it will last. I go right for the drugs: Antibiotics, antihistamines, and cough suppressants. I don't mess with this stuff. I get the drugs, get better, then move on. Current favorites: DuraHist-D (an antihistamine), not recommended if you have hypertension (as I do) unless your dr deems it to be well under control (as mine does), Ceftin (antibiotic), and Delsym (cough suppressant, OTC).

Now, if only there were something that could just make me feel better instantly! I won't go into details, but the bottom line is that the drugs treat the symptoms and need a few days before getting the upper hand. The residual aches and other stuff just have to be lived through.

I don't enjoy being ill. I mean, if you're going to have a day off, why not have it when you're well?

In like a Lion . . .

2008-03-02T08:33:00.003-06:00

We have a saying hereabouts where I live. It is that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. It's a reference to the weather, meaning it's cold, windy, and wet at the beginning of the month, but it's generally warm and pleasant at the end of the month.

This year we seem to have the month coming in like a lamb. Yesterday was warm and sunny (about 60º F) , a thoroughly pleasant day to be outdoors and enjoying the promise of springtime. Today won't be quite so warm (maybe 47º F) and there is a 40% chance of light rain or snow by 9 pm. (My source: Weather Underground).

The last couple of weeks have been something like a stormy lion at our house. All of my jobs (the base, the stationery shop, my freelance work) have had me very busy and that means the house has looked as if a tornado went through it! Yesterday I was dyeing wool. (See the knitting blog for details.) Plus I did some writing on a freelance project, tidied up a bit in the kitchen (it was necessary to the dyeing project) and even did a little bit of reading.

Ed is struggling with a cold. He's felt OK for a few days here, but last night he was hit hard once again so this morning he's in bed.

In other news -- perhaps the nicest of all -- my friends M and J are engaged! M sprang it on me a week ago. This is something I'd hoped for since about 3 months after they met when it was clear to me that they were in love.(see the post I believe in Love) I'd hoped so hard that it became an obsession (I was living in their joy to avoid my own woes, but that's another story) and last August I just let it go. So, imagine the explosion of joy and surprise when she showed me her ring! All I could do was scream, "OHMYGOD!" several times. If Ed hadn't come through to offer congratulations, we'd probably still be standing in the entrance of my house with M extending her left hand and me shouting, "OHMYGOD!"

OK, here's the silliest part. M was coming over to dye yarn (long story). She'd called me on her cell phone because she was having trouble finding my house (another long story). When she arrived she said she'd been feeling rather distracted and she held out her left hand, palm down. I was (oh, I am embarrassed to admit this!) looking at her hand (how could I have missed it?) and checking for swelling or a possible rash that might prevent her from dyeing yarn! I offer it only as a testament to how thoroughly I had removed myself from my obsession with their engagement. :) Naw, I'm just so dense that light sometimes bends around me!

Silent Poetry Reading (late again)

2008-02-03T14:57:00.000-06:00

Here is my offering (late once again) for the annual Silent Poetry Reading day:

In a French Mountain Village

Rain, then snow. In the middle
of the stoney street
leading through the village,
an old horse cart stops,
and turns around, its driver
tucking his head in his coat,
yelling at the horse.

November,
assuming the darkness
of winter, clears the mountains
of any warmth. It is here,
alone, I have come to find you,
to find what was lost
on the plains of the midwest, in California,
behind the legend of childhood.

Cold now. The snow
has slipped from the skin of your breasts
and covered everything, the stable,
the mayor's house, those last floweres
huddled outside against the walls
of my room.

Will I find you hear?
No one I've talked to
has seen you, understood
my description of you.
As the day moves on, gets darker,
the moutains seem to fatten, like sheep,
as if all the snow in the world
were falling above me,
on this village.

Toward midnight,
I finally go to bed,
without a clue to your whereaboutes.
By morning, despite my search,
the snow will have ended.

by Richard David Wyatt

Set to music by Jackson Berkey. Here a recording of the Seattle Girls Choir singing one arrangement of it here.

2007 Post Meme

2008-01-23T11:10:00.000-06:00

This from Minnie: a blog post in which you post the first sentence of the first post for each month of the previous year. I think I'll put mine as a paragraph just to see how weird it gets:

I was in bed at 11:00 p.m. (Central Standard Time) only to be wakened by Charka dog when the fireworks in the neighborhood started going off at midnight. The first rule of holes: when you're in one, stop digging. (OK, I'm sorry to be doing this, but it seems a prudent measure.) The dog barked at 12:45 a.m. OK, I still have this crud. I've spent a total of 14.5 hours this past week in sorting and packing items in my mother-in-law's apartment. It's odd that a number of the blogs I usually check seem to have had a post sometime around June 23 - 26 and then no more. While in the locker room of the gym this morning I couldn't help but to overhear the heated comments on a news program that was playing on the television mounted in the room. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Your master bedroom has a bedside table with a pad for writing down late-night inspirations.

OK, that's January through November 2007 (November's first and only entry being the image of the women's remote control). The first post in December 2007 was a photo (which is on my home computer), or else the first line of a joke.

Effin' Snow! Effin' Cold! Effin' January!

2008-01-22T13:25:00.000-06:00

It has been cold, snowy, and downright crappy. It has been January. One can only wait it out. My psoriasis is out of control on my hands -- I have large bandages over most of the first two fingers on my right hand just to facilitate knitting -- and all of my joints ache. We're getting cold winds out of the north with sub-zero wind-chills. The snow is dry and slick.

In the meantime, I've been working, working, working, knitting, and sleeping. I billed a lot of hours of freelance work. It will be nice to be paid.

We're still praying for Ed's job to come through.

Recurring Places in My Dreams

2008-01-11T09:47:00.000-06:00

I had a dream this morning that brought back several locations that have been recurring in my dreams. These are not real places. They are based on or near real places, but the places do not exist anywhere other than my head.

1. A religious shrine / grotto somewhere north of Omaha. In my dreams you reach it via a lovely country road that parallels a river, but it's not the Missouri River. The grotto is a wedge-shaped area. It has a parking lot south of its location. You walk to the grotto, then you walk through it. It is primarily limestone that has been carved into religious figures (various saints and characters from the Bible), and there is one area that goes somewhat underground. It's like a large room that has been carved out. There is an ornately carved platform with walls on either side. I think masses are held here.

2. A section of Omaha just north of Dodge Street. It starts about 1 block north of Dodge and goes about 10 blocks further north. It runs from about 5th Street (East) to 40th Street West). It's like a small town with lots of houses and many little businesses, but it's a dangerous place at night. At about 10th and Dodge (in my dream) is a high school. If you can get to the high school and navigate its labyrinthian passages to the other side, you're in "downtown" Omaha, which is a city unlike what actually exists in the location stated. In my dream, "downtown" Omaha has many tall, glass buildings but is interspersed with wider green spaces. There are no historic buildings.

3. Buckingham Palace in London. This one really gets me because it's not a building I've ever visited. In fact, I don't think I've even been anywhere near the grounds. But in my dreams I'm inside and it has the most intricate set of rooms and connecting halls and secret doors. In fact, it doesn't look like much of a palace at all. It's more like an historic home of some kind you might find in the southeastern US. There are no portraits of past kings or queens, no ornate carvings or marbles. It's just a lot of nice rooms with yellow/cream walls and matching draperies. And I always seem to know the staff members who serve the meals and do the dusting.

These are just three locations. Another is a house with an addition that stands on the site where there is in reality the house I did most of my growing up in. (The addition in my dreams is never finished and stands on a patch of grass between our house and the neighbor's.) Yet another is a small village in the Pacific Northwest which is periodically transported to Italy (although everyone still speaks English). I've never been to Italy.

Well, there's always my dreams, right?

Her name is Teresa and she's Amazing!

2008-01-10T09:45:00.001-06:00

You Should Stay in Shape With a Personal Trainer

You definitely want a better body, but you don't know where to start.
And it's all so overwhelming, you tend to lose motivation easily.
A personal trainer can help you get the body you desire - even if you have a long way to go!

How Should You Get Your Curves In Shape?

January Really Blows

2008-01-10T09:33:00.001-06:00

We're supposed to have snow again today, an accumulation of 1" - 3". After the freezing rain of the other morning, I'm really not looking forward to any of this. Well, if we get a snow day out of it, I'm all for it, but only if I'm already at home first.

January: Cold, icy, snowy; no fun lights, no sweet songs, no presents at the end of the month. The only thing you have to look forward to is February, which is more of the same for 3 - 4 weeks.

We're still waiting to hear whether Ed got the job he's so much wanting. He will call on it today. He's had no other contacts on other jobs he has already applied for. Why do I think this will be just another in a very long line of disappointments? Answer: Because that's about all we've had is a long line of disappointments.

I'm starting to feel like God doesn't even know our names any more.

My Personality Recipe

2008-01-09T07:31:00.001-06:00

The Recipe For Judith

3 parts Uniqueness
2 parts Tolerance
1 part Flirtation

Splash of Boldness

Finish off with a lime twist

What's the Recipe for Your Personality?

New Year's Resolutions and Goals

2008-01-07T09:17:00.001-06:00

OK, I'm ready to make a commitment.

Goal: Lose 30 - 50 lbs by December 31st.
Resolutions:

Log food intake and exercise (starting Jan 8th)
Stay within calorie intake limits
Keep up workouts (2x per week)
Keep up at least 90 minutes of cardio exercise per week
Don't give up just because of one bad day!

Goal: Improved Self Esteem / Self Satisfaction
Resolutions:

Work through the book "Discovering Your Purpose" (with Amy)
Regular bed time and rising time each day
Finish the unfinished knitting and sewing projects
Clean / declutter one thing at a time.

Ice Month

2008-01-07T06:17:00.000-06:00

Freezing rain is falling on us this morning. The streets in my neighborhood are kind of slushy and kind of slick. The main roads are mainly wet, but there were some sections that looked scary in the blackness of an early morning drive.

The Czech word for January is "leden," which means "the ice month," an odd piece of information that managed to remain glued to my brain despite two years of studying the language and yet being able to do little more than to introduce myself and to order a beer. The Czech names for the months are rather poetic in addition to being true to the character of things meteorologic.

I hate the ice. I hate freezing rain. It is impossible to predict when you'll slip and when you'll have traction. Sometimes it is merely gravity + mass that causes a skid; no movement required on anyone's part to initiate the uncontrollable slide.

I'd rather be at home and in bed.

Waging War on the House

2008-01-06T13:34:00.000-06:00

In the fifth Harry Potter book (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, or OotP as we call it), Harry and friends find themselves in the home of his godfather, Sirius Black, which is located at 12 Grimmauld Place somewhere in London. Sirius' family were strong supporters of the idea that the only magical people worth caring about were "pure blood." When Sirius got himself banged up in Azkaban prison, and after the remaining family members died, only the house elf Kreacher was left to look after the house, and he didn't do a very good job of it. Thus, Harry Potter and the Weasleys took to cleaning up the old house, but it was tough work because the things they would find weren't just icky things to clean up, but poisonous and full of nasty hexes and jinxes. Ron was almost strangled to death by some old robes in a closet, and they had to kill some poisonous doxies that were in the curtains, to name just a couple. Harry described it as "waging war" on the house in order to get it clean.

Well, that's how I feel about my own home. I have to wage a war on it because no matter how I try to clean things up, more stuff comes at me. I swear, my yarn would probably strangle me, as would the fabrics and other crafting stuff. And then there's the general levels of junk throughout the house -- boxes that need throwing away, old pots and pans that should be discarded (except Ed can't part with them). It's kind of a nightmare.

Too bad I don't have a wand.

Or a house elf or two.

At least I'm not 14 any more

2008-01-03T09:37:00.000-06:00

I woke up late this morning. Actually, I woke up when the alarm went off, then I reached over and turned off the alarm before falling asleep again. So, I woke at about 8:15 a.m., got my act together in a hurry (gym clothes in the bag, flash drive around my neck, clean clothes for me, brush teeth, run brush through hair, find wallet, run back into the house for cell phone) and was on the way to the office by 8:30 a.m. On the way out of my neighborhood, I punched in my boss's number and, having reached her, let her know I'd be late. She hadn't had any coffee yet, but she was just fine about it.

So, I punched the "off" button the phone and I ..... started crying.

And then I remembered that I'd not taken my meds yesterday. Or the day before that.

So, it's official: I'm hormonal. Or, more accurately, my body is having a bad reaction to not having the regular hormone flow it used to have before the hysterectomy. I've been on Premarin (yep, Pregnant Mare Urine) and, if I missed a few days in the past couple of months, it's been no big deal. Now, I miss 2 days and I'm having a hormone storm.

Remember in the original Star Trek series when they would encounter an ion storm? "Keptin," Scotty would say over the intercom, "we canno' beam them oot. It's an ion storm an' she's blowin' oot the cupplin's" -- or something like that. And then Mr. Spock would concur, "It would seem the ion storm is interfering with all communications, Captain. Fascinating."

Well, that's what a hormone storm is: It wreaks havoc with all systems and you just have to ride it out. All communication that isn't shut down ( "Don't talk to me!" ) is impaired somewhat ( What did he really mean by saying "It's OK" -- was he being sarcastic? ), and very little of anything else gets through.

But, if I take my pills as I should, I don't have this problem.

I know, I know — everyone (or, I should say, every woman) has her own theory of how to handle these things with nutrition alone: Eat more soy protein! Eat less refined sugar! No white sugar and no white flour! Reduce your caffeine intake! Less carbs! Less fat! While I accept that what I eat has an effect on how I feel and how I perform, the fact of the matter is that I believe more in taking my medications regularly instead of attempting to medicate myself through food. Let's face it: I've been attempting that since childhood and all it has done is give me about 100 lbs extra on my big old frame.

OK, I still believe that chocolate will ward off the effects of the Dementors ("Chocolate is an effective first aid to mild cases of contact."), but other than that I don't see much else that has worked.

So, to my list of New Year's Resolutions: Take the !@#$%!@@$!ing pills every day.

I resolve to make better resolutions

2008-01-02T11:45:00.001-06:00

I'm trying to think through my New Year's resolutions so that I commit to behaviors instead of merely to outcomes. Unfortunately, my behaviors are the problem. They are unpredictable, no matter how often I try to get them to toe the line.

I'll think them through and then post next Monday.

In the meantime, the weather is as cold as one should expect around here in January, and it could get colder still (it usually does) by the end of the month. It's the part of the year I hate the most: Icy cold and dreary. Well, maybe I can spend these next 8 weeks getting some exercise in so that I'm in good shape to kick up my heels when spring finally comes around.

It would really help if Ed could get this one job in particular that we're hoping for.

Please, God? Please? Please? Please?????

New Year's Resolutions Revisited

2008-01-01T19:16:00.000-06:00

In 2007 I resolved to . . .

Hobbies/Crafts:

• I will clean out/reorganize my sewing/knitting/craft room.
Well, I did clean it out twice and cleaned it up once, but it's still a mess.

• I will finish up all of the UFOs, or I will undo them and rewind the yarn. The goal is to get to the end of 2007 with all of my currently unfinished projects resolved.
I finished up one UFO, I rewound one or two, but several things are still unfinished and glaring at me.

Heatlh/Wellness:

• I will take my vitamins/supplements every day, just like I take my medications.
On a scale of 1 (being worst) and 5 (being perfection), I scored a 2.

• I will get 100 to 120 minutes of cardio exercise per week.
On a scale of 1 (being worst) and 5 (being perfection), I scored a 3.5.

• If I feel like overeating, it will be on "real" food with nutritional value, not junk food.
Let's not even talk about it, OK?

• I will track my food intake and make every effort to stay within limits. The goal is to get to the end of 2007 with at least 50 lbs lost.
Well, that sucked! I did track my food intake a few times. I ended up gaining about 10 or 15 lbs (I don't want to check the records -- it's that depressing).

Fifty Reasons

2007-12-29T12:08:00.001-06:00

Every now and then I find a nice piece of writing among my stuff. This was one I wrote for my friend and massage therapist extraordinaire Jim upon the occasion of his 50th birthday. I had a present for him, I had it wrapped, and I couldn't find it, so I wrote this list for him. (I found the gift before the party — it was in the trunk of my car! — but I read the list to him anyway.)

Fifty Reasons
Why I Don’t Have the Birthday Present I’d Gotten for You

The dog ate it.

The dog buried it.

I put it away where it belonged, but I have no idea where that is.

Two words: Alien Kleptomaniacs

The tooth fairy came by and, failing to find any teeth under the pillow, she took your present.

We’re using it to prop up one corner of the house.

Santa’s reindeer needed a last-minute snack.

Homeland Security flushed it down a toilet.

I think we used it on those door-to-door evangelists (you know – to beat them senseless).

Colonel Sanders thought it contained his secret recipe, so he sent his spies to get it when we weren’t looking.

Someone said that if you throw it just right it will come back to you. I tried that but it hasn’t come back yet. Maybe it’s taking the scenic route.

It spontaneously burst into flame when I put it next to a Stephen King novel.

Um…. check my blog. It might be there.

The National Enquirer offered me $100,000 for it, but I refused. Then they took it from me anyway.

It’s with all of odd socks and gloves that get sucked up in the washing machine.

Angelina Jolie adopted it.

Paris Hilton took it with her to make her jail time pass smoothly.

I think it got sealed in with my in-laws’ ashes. I’ll let you know where you can go and visit it.

Cap’n Jack Sparrow said it was part of his treasure, so he confiscated it. (Hey, I was at knife-point, man!)

It might be in the Ronald Reagan National Library, but I don’t exactly recall where.

I needed it to patch a flat tire.

We were bench-pressing it at the gym and things got a little out of hand.

OK, you know how someone says, “When you wish upon a star…”? Well I wished I knew where it was, but nothing has come of it. Must be the wrong star.

The cats used it in protest of a dirty litter box.

I’ve found it to be really good for massaging that funny little space under my butt – but then it broke.

See that burger on your plate? I’ll bet that’s it. I don’t care if Ed is saying that it’s lamb. I know better.

I still haven’t had that rendezvous with Deep Throat. I’ll get it then. Probably later this week. It’s a little unpredictable.

My mom has been using it to clean her dentures. It’s kind of ragged right now.

The cleaners lost it.

Martha Stewart said it wasn’t wrapped properly. She’s making the paper for it right now, and then she’s growing the flowers that will adorn the top of the box.

I think it’s in the mail.

Maybe we packed it up with some of Ed’s mom’s stuff.

I can’t tell you – it’s covered by the National Secrets Act.

AARP is lobbying against it.

The ACLU is lobbying for it.

The Supreme Court isn’t in session yet.

What present?

It was good karma but bad dogma.

The priest had to bless it. Then it got soaked with holy water. The incense didn’t do it any good either.

It checked into rehab.

It has a 12-step meeting tonight.

Um…. I haven’t checked with its parole officer lately, so maybe that’s not a good sign.

It’s getting Botox injections. It’ll be good when the swelling goes down.

The paparazzi chased it into a tunnel in Paris. No one has seen it since, although there is a popular theory of a mafia hit and cover-up.

If you just fill out all of the proper forms and show your Medicare certificate, I’m sure we can get right on it.

Are you sure it’s your birthday today? I’m just sayin’ . . .

Harry Potter’s owl flew off with it.

I think I cleaned the house so well that I can’t find it. Which just goes to show it’s no use cleaning house.

Maybe it’s in the closet.

Look, when I’m done with it, I’ll send it to you, OK?

Nobody Wins in This Battle

2007-12-27T21:45:00.000-06:00

Here's a news items from USAToday:

Priests come to blows inside Church of the Nativity
Greek Orthodox and Armenian priests had a rumble today inside Bethlehem's Church of the Nativity, in a dispute over how to clean the church after Christmas
celebrations.
AFP says the priests came to blows -- and in some cases even attacked each other with broomsticks and iron rods -- after the Greeks allegedly started cleaning a part of the church controlled by the Armenians. The church, built on the site where Christians believe Jesus was born, is shared by various branches of Christianity -- each of which controls a slice of the building.

(and here's my favorite part . . .)

Palestinian police had to be called in to break up the battle, and two of them were among the seven people reportedly hurt.

That's right, folks: Muslims had to stop the Christians from fighting over who owns Jesus.

In honor of those who finished their Christmas cards . . .

2007-12-05T10:15:00.000-06:00

A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"

The clerk asks, "What denomination?"

The woman says, "Lord help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran, and 22 Baptist."

Ice on Saturday Morning

2007-12-02T23:04:00.000-06:00

Women's Remote Control

2007-11-26T09:50:00.001-06:00

In honor of my "coming out" tomorrow . . .

2007-10-30T10:39:00.001-05:00

Hampshire Constabulary Advertise on City Bus

2007-10-30T07:34:00.001-05:00

This was sent to me by Roger in the U.K. Apparently the Hampshire police didn't take into account the positioning of the tailpipe on the bus.

Countdown

2007-10-29T09:38:00.000-05:00

Well, I completely blew off any ideas of cleaning this weekend prior to going in for surgery on Wednesday. I spent most of Saturday with my mom, and then I slept on Sunday afternoon (after church and prior to taking my sister Mary to dinner). Also, I went to bed last night at 10:30 p.m., but I'm still tired today.

I wanted to clean out the laundry room. I wanted to clean up the bedroom. I wanted to get all of the laundry done and put away. I wanted the bedroom cleared out of crap so that I could come home from the hospital and just rest without having to worry about what might be underfoot if I got up from bed to use the bathroom.

*sigh*

Wednesday can't quite come soon enough for me. I really want this done. I want to be in the recovery part. I'm not looking forward to waking up with pain and grogginess and all of the rest of the crap that comes from having an operation. And I'm not looking forward to all of the last-minute requests for things to get done before I'm gone.

I have Jim B. (massage therapist extraordinaire) scheduled to come on Tuesday evening to give me a massage. I'm having lunch on Tuesday with some friends.

Whatever. I'm tired. I'd rather be in bed!

Another Meme

2007-10-19T07:41:00.000-05:00

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:00

2. Diamonds or pearls? I can't have both????

3. What was the last film you saw at the movies? I think the last one we saw was Stardust, and it was hilarious.

4. What is your favorite TV show? House

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? An Egg McMuffin

6. What is your middle name? Jesus. (Every time my dad was mad at me he'd say, "Judith, Jesus!")

7. What food do you dislike? Lentils

8. What is your favorite CD? Paul Simon's "Graceland"

9. What kind of car do you drive? Pontiac Grand Am

10. Favorite sandwich? Fried Egg

11. What characteristics do you despise? Arrogance and (conversely, I suppose) helplessness

12. Favorite item of clothing? My jeans.

13. If you could go anywhere in the world for a vacation, where would you go? All over Europe and the UK.

14. What color is your bathroom? Yellow

15. Favorite brand of clothing? If it fits, it's my favorite.

16. Where would you retire? England

17. Favorite movie? Casablanca

18. Favorite Sport to watch? Women's gymnastics

19. Furthest place you are sending this? Wherever the web reaches

20. Who do you expect to send this back to you? It doesn't matter.

21. Person you expect to send it back first? Ditto

22. Favorite saying? "The question you never ask always has an answer of No."

23. When is your birthday? In June.

24. Are you a morning person or a night person? I'm an afternoon-evening person.

25. What is your shoe size? On a good day, 9-1/2 wide.

26. Pets? Charka, Scratch, Nip, and Tuck.

27. What did you want to be when you were little? Happy.

28. What are you today? Happy.

29. What is your favorite candy? Starburst (original)

30. What is your favorite flower? All of them.

31. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Hallowe'en!

32. Who would you most like to meet, either living or dead? Jane Austen

33. What are you listening to right now? The rattle of the heating / AC unit in my office.

34. What was the last thing you ate? Poptarts.

36. Do you believe in Angels? Yes. In fact, I'm so busy that I have a rotating shift of three to look after me.

37. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Whatever freakin' color I need at the moment.

38. What is your pet peeve? I have several, including political slander (instead of talking about real issues), slow drivers, and being late.

39. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My wonderful friend Lorna.

41. Favorite soft drink? Diet Pepsi.

42. Favorite restaurant? Alas, it is no more, but my favorite was and probably will be the Nebraska Beef Company.

43. Hair Color? Unsettled. Sort of blonde, sort of brown, and bits of grey creeping in.

44. Siblings? JeanJodieMarcyKathyMaryBudDeniseJamesShari

45. Favorite day of the year? Christmas

46. What was your favorite toy as a child? A doll

47. Summer or Winter? Autumn.

48. Hugs or kisses? Screw that, I want torrid sex!

49. Chocolate or Vanilla? And caramel with pecans and raspberries.

50. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? Nope.

51. When was the last time you cried? Monday.

52. What is under your bed? Carpet and dust.

53. Who is the friend you've had longest? Debra in Canada. We've been penpals since 1973.

54. What did you do last night? Knit, watched television, knit, watched television, played on the computer, read, slept.

55. Favorite smell? Whatever my husband is cooking.

56. What are you afraid of? Nuclear holocaust

57. How many keys on your key ring? two

58. How many years at your current job? More than 5

59. Favorite day of the week? Saturday.

60. How many towns have you lived in? five.

61. Do you make friends easily? Yep.

Time for something silly

2007-10-17T09:01:00.000-05:00

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only and they must be made from bee's wax and preblessed by a Bishop totally in communion with Rome at the time of the blessing.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.

Church of God: Might be changed next year if light bulbs are included in next year's budget, included in next year's goals, and the church board has a vision that they even need light bulbs.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unity: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Unitarian: Undetermined. "Our only dogmatic belief is that we are all free to disagree. In Unitarianism the significance of change takes precedence over the both the light bulb and the number of congregates needed to implement its change. We are currently accepting poems and meditations dealing with this subject to be published in an anthology to be used at our annual meeting of Unitarian ministers and those who fail to see a need for them."

United Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved -- you can be a light bulb, turnip bulb,or tulip bulb. Churchwide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans (Missouri Synod): None. We don't believe in change.

Lutherans (all others): We agree with the Roman Catholic statement but lovingly suggest ecumenical discussions concerning the status of the bishop.

Amish: What's a light bulb?

Jehovah's Witnesses: None. The lights are on but no one's home.

BONUS:

How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Californians can't afford the electricity.

How many aging hippies does it take to change a lightbulb? Wow, man, like, I can't do this counting thing, but the experience is, like, way out there, you know?

How many computer programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Lightbulbs are a hardware problem.

Ooops! It was October 4th!

2007-10-15T14:55:00.000-05:00

"next to of course god america i
love you land of the pilgrims' and so forth oh
say can you see by the dawn's early my
country 'tis of centuries come and go
and are no more what of it we should worry
in every language even deafanddumb
thy sons acclaim your glorious name by gorry
by jingo by gee by gosh by gum
why talk of beauty what could be more beaut-
iful than these heroic happy dead
who rushed like lions to the roaring slaughter
they did not stop to think they died instead
then shall the voice of liberty be mute?"

He spoke. And drank rapidly a glass of water

-- e. e. cummings

Seriously. I heard it announced on the radio that today was National Poetry Day, but the official web site states that it was October 4th. Of course, that's a UK web site, but, really, shouldn't the land of the Bard be the one that determines the date? Anyway, I posted a real poem above, one of my favorites (considering all of the patriotic blather I'm subjected to).

I'd heard it was National Poetry Day

2007-10-15T14:53:00.000-05:00

Here goes . . .

Roses are red;
Violets are blue.
Not all poetry
Has to rhyme.

I don't know where I picked up that bit of doggerel, but I love it!

My Dream Home

2007-10-04T11:35:00.000-05:00

Your home is a

Magic Muse's Stronghold

Your master bedroom has a bedside table with a pad for writing down late-night inspirations.

Your home also includes a gallery of your favorite works -- the originals, of course.

And, you have a pet -- a cat named "Vincent".

Below is a snippet of the blueprints:

Find YOUR Dream House!

Five Things I am Thankful For (3)

2007-09-25T11:15:00.000-05:00

Today I am thankful for . . .

Remembering to use the "numbered list" function of my blog. Better coding, better formatting, and less frustration.
Cool weather. A cold front came through last night. It brought some rain, but now it is sunny and perfect for walking.
Living in this area where the air is clear and sky is wide open.
The Old Chapel in Ivinghoe, Buckinghamshire (UK), and all of its denizens who share laughs with me on a regular basis.
An easy day when I can remember good friends and enjoy the outdoors.

Five Things I am Thankful For (2)

2007-09-24T07:41:00.000-05:00

Sorry, but i got very busy this past weekend. Here are five more things:

1. Charka dog, especially in the morning. She is usually stretched out on the floor in the livingroom when I get up. As soon as she sees me her tail starts wagging and her eyes light up. I go to pet her and she rolls over on her side so that I can get her belly (along with scratching her nose and ears).

2. Cool mornings. The weather has been pleasantly cool in the mornings, and the air has been fragrant with grass cuttings, moist earth, and various natural scents of wood and herbs and whatever else is growing, blooming, or dying this time of year.

3. PBS. I watched the first installment of the latest Ken Burns documentary, "The War," last night. It's done very well. A lot of my other favorite programs (Waking the Dead, Silent Witness, Inspector Lynley Mysteries, Waiting for God, etc.) are on PBS.

4. BBC television. They make most of my favorite programs on PBS!

5. My husband, Ed. ('nuff said)

Five Things I am Thankful For (First Post)

2007-09-21T11:48:00.001-05:00

This is the first entry of what I hope will be many. It's an exercise for my mind. I should be adding to it every day. Here goes. . .

The Bulletin Bloopers (see below) that my friend Richard sent to me. They make me laugh.
My friend Richard. He makes me laugh. He also gets me out for a walk.
My friend Amy. She laughs at these with me. Pretty soon we're crying because we're laughing so hard.
Email. It makes it possible to share silliness.
Trish. She gave me great insight today (again!).

Bulletin Bloopers

2007-09-21T11:44:00.000-05:00

My favorites are 6, 8, 17, and 25. :)

1. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

2. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

3. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

4. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

5. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

6. A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

8. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

9. Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

10. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Adams.

11. Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

12. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

13. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

14. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

15. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.

16. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.

17. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

18. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

19. Our next song is "Angles We Have Heard Get High."

20. Don't let worry kill you, let the church help.

21. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

22. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

23. The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

24. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

25. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

Old, Fat Gal and the Hypertension Blues

2007-08-28T06:35:00.000-05:00

I've been monitoring my blood pressure and it hasn't been good. My doctor has tried to comfort me by reminding me that this is likely genetic and that I'd still have it even if I were at an ideal weight.

My current goal is to drink at least 32 oz of water per day (it's a staring point) and to remember to breathe.

I think it would feel a lot better to beat the crap out of some people and then p*ss on them, but I beleive that would end up being counter-productive.

I'll see my doctor soon and start the great trial-and-error with the anti-hypertensive meds. I shall attempt to remain calm by meditating on the question, "Just WTF is the Manley Pants Project?"

The Great Galveston Getaway!

2007-08-14T15:32:00.000-05:00

It was a whirlwind of a week! It started on Tuesday with me feeling sick and trying to figure out how I would get myself well in order to leave on Thursday. In the middle we had scorching heat and sweltering humidity, but we also had a lot of fun. It ended up with delays on the flight home due to thunderstorms in Omaha.

Read on . . .

Tuesday and Wednesay, August 7 - 8

2007-08-14T15:30:00.001-05:00

On Tuesday I left work around noon because I wasn’t feeling well. Short version: I ended up in a local E.R. with an outrageous migraine. Although my blood pressure had spiked to 210 over 100-something, they did a CT scan of my head and said everything was normal. (Are they sure that was my head they were looking at?) I was told to rest. I went home and slept.

On Wednesday I took time off from both of my jobs and puttered around. I had a massage in the afternoon. And then, feeling fully relaxed and in control of my life, I got out the sewing machine and made a last-minute fix to the dress I’d be wearing to my nephew’s wedding. (It was really an easy fix, but, good grief!) Then the pet-sitter pooped out on us – missed her appointment to meet with us and wasn’t answering her phone. In the end, a great neighbor from across the street stepped in at the last minute to handle the dog and cats while we were away.

Thursday, August 9

2007-08-14T09:15:00.000-05:00

All flights came and went without delays. The only hitch was that I couldn’t remember the rental car company where I had a reservation for us! While Ed retrieved our bag, I called all of the rental car companies located at Houston International Airport. None of them had a reservation listed for us either. (Hmmm….. coincidence?) Not to worry, we rented a car and all was well. Ed navigated and I drove. We hit some bumper-to-bumper traffic on I-45 as we turned off for Galveston, but it didn’t last terribly long.

We checked in to the hotel (left) without any problems.

We walked over to Landry’s (above) where Ed had oysters and crab; I had shrimp scampi.

We got to see this gentleman performing in the plaza in front of a nearby restaurant / entertainment area for families. It was right between Landry's and our hotel.

And then we went up to our room and went to bed.

Friday, August 10

2007-08-14T08:52:00.000-05:00

We met my sister Mary and her younger son, Sean Patrick, for breakfast at the IHOP. Ross (the groom-to-be) joined us, too, which was a treat. Afterward, Ross went off to do some “guy stuff” with his best men. Mary’s husband Tom joined us and the rest of us went for a bit of a drive. Tom went to med school in Galveston, so he knew the island like the back of his hand. He drove us around some lovely historic homes.

Then we went to Seawolf Park on Pelican Island to see a WWII submarine, the Cavalla as well as a WWII ship, the USS Stewart.

That's Mary as seen through a hatch in the Cavalla. Quarters were small!

Who's brilliant idea was it to put all of these interesting dials and levers and knobs on a submarine, and then . . .

. . . tell us not to touch them????

Here's Ed and Sean Patrick on the USS Stewart.

It also had these cool guns (and I'm convinced I need one at the office).

Then we toured the Bishop’s Palace (left)which was lovely except that the guy who was our “guide” on the first floor was a curmudgeon.

After that we went to lunch at Mario’s (right) where we were joined by Tom’s sister Maureen and her husband Ben.

It had been so hot that morning (100º+) that we called off the rest of our plans in order to rest up. Actually, Ed rested and I tried out the pool at the hotel. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t much to really brag about.

When things had cooled off some, Ed and I drove over to an “Old Market” area called The Strand. It had some fun buildings

And you could play a grand game of chess if you were so inclined.

We had supper at Fisherman’s Wharf on Pier 22.

Saturday, August 11

2007-08-14T08:21:00.000-05:00

In the morning we went back to Pier 22 to tour the 1877 sailing ship, the Elissa.

Part of the fun was getting to walk all over the ship as a crew of volunteers were on board and learning how to work on it.

Yes, that's them: sanding away in a nice little row. By the way, the hour is about 10:45 a.m. and the temp is already in the 90s (F). Oh, it's fun to be a sailor!

At left, they are learning how to deal with the canvas sails. The people behind the mast are the learners, standing on a rope and learning to secure the sails after rolling them up like big canvas blini. The people in front of the mast are teaching. Luckily, they get to learn this at just a few inches off the ground (as opposed to their ancestors who learned it by climbing up the freakin' rigging and learning while the ship was at sea).

And there's Ed (at right), my sailor-boy-wannabe. :)

We stopped briefly into the Texas Seaport Museum which contains, among other things, the Galveston Immigration Database. That's where we found what we believed was the record of my maternal grandmother's immigration in 1905. (Turned out we were wrong. She came in through Ellis Island in 1913. Long story.)

And then we took a harbor tour (gotta love those ship yards) where we also got to see dolphins! No, I didn't get photos! They were too fast!

Here's me with Vandy, our captain.

After that, we headed back to the hotel to get ready for the wedding.

The wedding was held at Moody Memorial Methodist Church (say that one three times fast and see if you don't get a jaw sprain!) and was very nice.

Unfortunately, my photos of the ceremony sucked.

Sunday, August 12

2007-08-14T08:20:00.000-05:00

We drove back to Houston International Airport, returned the car, and awaited our flight to Dallas/Ft Worth airport. That’s when the delays began. We boarded the jet at the appropriate time, then we sat there for an hour (in the sweltering heat) because there was a problem with the APU (Auxiliary Power Unit – the one that supplied the air conditioning) that had to be fixed. After we were finally in the air, we had to circle south of Omaha because thunderstorms and lightening were in the air (and it was a bad one, as folks in the area know). At last the pilot had to divert to Kansas City International airport to refuel, by which time the storms had cleared out of Omaha. We were finally on the ground around 8:00 p.m., about 2 hours later than scheduled. But, it was the only delay for the whole trip, so that wasn’t really so bad. (I can say that now.)

In Praise of Neighbors

2007-08-08T21:34:00.001-05:00

We were all set to leave for our trip to Galveston, Texas, when the pet-sitter we'd hired pooped out on us. The pet-sitter was supposed to show up at 8:30 p.m. to got over everything. At 9:00 p.m. we'd given up and started frantic phone calls to any kennels that would answer. The one we did get to answer said that, as Charka dog wasn't up on her shots (we're a month overdue), they would require a 48-hour waiting period before taking her.

Ed came up with the idea of asking Jessica, a neighbor across the street. She said "Yes" without batting an eye! The previous people who'd lived in that house would've done the same for us, so there must be something special about that house -- it only attracts good people!

So, we're dreaming of all of the kind things we can do for Jessica to show our gratitude (she doesn't want payment). While we're doing that, would everyone reading this please just offer up a nice prayer of thanks for such a wonderful neighbor? May all good things come her way because of her selfless kindness!

Fake Chocolate Chip Cookies

2007-08-06T09:36:00.001-05:00

To make up for yesterday's diatribe, here's an amusing anecdote from one of my sisters:

My grandson thought we should make some of those "fake" chocolate chip cookies. When I queried him, he said: "You know those cookies that look like they have chocolate chips in them but they are really raisins."

I am Pro-Responsibility

2007-08-05T18:02:00.000-05:00

While in the locker room of the gym this morning I couldn't help but to overhear the heated comments on a news program that was playing on the television mounted in the room. It was the usual blather from political hopefuls who were taking jabs at each other on the question of whether or not they were "Pro-Life."

I've had enough of the Pro-Life / Pro-Choice rhethoric. I would like to propose a sensible middle ground: Pro-Responsibility.

This means both the man and the woman accept responsibility for their choices and their actions.
This means they both act responsibly long before there is any possibility of conception.

Acting responsibly means not allowing sexual intercourse to be a substitute for self-esteem.

It means both parties are responsible for using appropriate and effective birth control if they choose to engage in sexual intercourse and prefer not to have a pregnancy as a result.

It means means that the choice to become pregnant is followed by acting responsibly during pregnancy (e.g., eating appropriately, getting proper medical care, not doing drugs or drinking alcohol).

It means that the choice to be a parent is followed by acting responsibly for raising the child to become a valued and productive member of society.

It still allows for a woman to choose to have an abortion if she is not ready to act responsibly as a parent.

It also allows for a woman to choose to give her child up for adoption.

And ultimately it allows for both men and women to choose abstinence or other appropriate methods of birth control.

It seems that the self-designated "Pro-Lifers" believe that the self-designated "Pro-Choicers" are "Pro-Death." Somehow the Pro-Lifers get so wrapped up in their anti-abortion campaigns and rhetoric that they forget about the number of children born into harsh circumstances: Children born with fetal alcoholism, children born into squalor, children born into a financially stable yet dysfunctional family — None of these is the "life" that so many "Pro-Lifers" ever consider.

Unfortunately, I haven't met too many "Pro-Choicers" who have much to brag about, either. They get so focused on a woman's right to choose abortion that they forget about a woman's right to choose to not have sex in the first place, to say nothing of a man's responsibility to choose to use birth control. They also forget about a woman's right to choose to bring a pregnancy to term.

The problems of single-parenthood, random sexual intercourse, teenage pregnancy, welfare mothers, at-risk children, crack-addicted babies, child abuse, and everything else will not be solved by protests at abortion clinics or by legislation for or against abortion. The problems are bigger than any slogan or sound bite.

I think the best place we can begin is to start with finding middle ground in the concept of Responsibility: Responsible choices, Responsible actions, and Responsible in the outcomes.

Of course, if you want responsible adults, you have to start by creating responsible teens. And if you want responsible teens then you have to start by creating responsible children.

Yes, we're certainly starting behind the mark on this one, but we have to start somewhere. And if we start now, we might have this battle against irresponsible choices and lack of accountability solved in about 6 generations.

This is what Love is. . .

2007-07-31T11:31:00.000-05:00

I ate something last night for supper that hated me. It waited until I'd been in bed for about 30 minutes before it began its assault on my gastro-intestinal system. It started with a niggling kind of nausea, then mushroomed into a threateningly unstable mass of cramps and near-hurling. (This probably wouldn't have been so bad if I weren't of the firm belief that no one over the age of 12 should have to vomit.) I moaned. I groaned. I sucked down Pepto-Bismol. I was prone. I was prostrate. I was on my elbows and knees on the bed with my face into the pillow and my eschrichtius robustus abdomen dangling in the middle so as not to cause undue pressure.

After about an hour or so the pain subsided and I was able to curl up on my side of the bed normally to sleep.

And then, just before 5:00 a.m. I was awakened by the internal three-alarm terrorism-in-the-gut warning that signals the time to jump out of bed and run to the bathroom before it could expulso inappropriately. While I sat this out, I heard the alarm ring and ring and ring and ring.

My husband didn't once complain. He asked if there was anything he could do to help. He wasn't cranky in the morning. He offered sympathy and comforting words. I was not beautiful. I was not charming. I was nothing in the least that could be considered desirable, certainly nothing like the bewitching woman he met on a bus tour sixteen years ago or the laughing bride fifteen years ago or the beautiful woman he sees now and then when I dress up for something special.

This is what love is.

Getting to Know You Meme

2007-07-30T12:33:00.000-05:00

OK, this one is going around on email. If you want to copy it for your own email or blog, be my guest. Please don't send it to people who really don't care to receive such things.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
I've heard it was Judy Garland, who was in The Wizard of Oz around the time I was born.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Last week over something stupid.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
Sometimes.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Ham.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Not unless you count the dog, 3 cats, and the husband.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Duh!

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
No.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Maybe.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Honey-Nut Cheerios

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Sometimes.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
I know I am strong.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Chocolate Fudge Brownie

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their faces.

15. RED OR PINK?
Red.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
None of your freakin' business!

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My maternal grandmother.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
Nope.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Khaki/tan trousers and dark brown shoes.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Pop Tarts

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
People around my office talking.

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Any color I need at the moment.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Bread baking, carnations, clean laundry.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
A clerk at the County Treasurer's Office.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Angie and Jules are wonderful people. I also like the people who are reading this (well, the ones I know).

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Women's gymnastics.

27. HAIR COLOR?
Blonde/Brown.

28. EYE COLOR?
Brown/Green.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Nope.

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Flat Iron Steak.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Dark Pink.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Both!

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Chocolate Walnut Brownie from Nebraska Beef Company (sadly, now closed).

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
No idea.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND
No idea.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for the 2nd time.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Crumbs.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
A Miss Marple Mystery.

42. FAVORITE SOUND?
"Dinner's Ready!"

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
I've been out of my mind several times. Geographically, Amsterdam is farthest, I think.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Graphics, singing, sewing, knitting, and probably a few other things.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
The state of perfect nothingness (aka Iowa)

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
No need to answer back unless you'd like to.

Harry Potter and the Disappearing Month

2007-07-30T08:50:00.000-05:00

There I was, posting away, when all of a sudden the month slipped away from me. I know I was caught up somewhat in the frenzy for the seventh and final Harry Potter book. I was finishing up the fifth book (Order of the Phoenix) late on Friday night. Then at 9:00 a.m. on the 21st my copy of Deathly Hallows arrived and there was no way on this green earth I was going to wait until I'd finished the sixth Harry Potter book before starting on this long-awaited tome. Thus, I answered the door (my copy was delivered via UPS) in my pyjamas and a bathrobe, then promptly went back to bed and started reading.

I loved it.

I laughed. I cried (well, not really). I loved it.

I had seen one spoiler site earlier that stated Percy Weasley died almost right away in this book. It didn't take much reading to discover this spoiler site had been a crock of dragon sh*t. Still, I was on pins and needles the whole time in wondering what would happen next. Ask my husband: I was either gasping, "No!" or hooting with laughter.

Memorable Moments (highlight this area to read -- I don't want to spoil it for those who haven't finished it yet):

Fred and George, having taken the polyjuice potion so that they would be Harry's double, exclaiming, "We're identical!"

The Weasley twins recalling their Uncle Bilius who would get drunk and start pulling flowers from his arse.

Kreacher hitting Mundungus Fletcher on the head with the saucepan and then suggesting perhaps one more for good measure. Harry (or was it Ron?) explains that they need "Dung" to be sober, but they'll call on Kreacher if needed again.

Hermione wrapping Ron in a fervid embrace and Harry having to say, "Um, excuse me, but there's a war going on . . . "

Dumbledore telling Harry, "Yes, it's all in your head, but that doesn't make it less real." (or something close to that)

Molly Weasley shouting at Bellatrix, "YOU B!TCH!"

Professor McGonagall leading a squadron on enchanted desks down a hall and yelling, "Charge!"

And, was I the only woman on the planet who had to put the book down for a while when Lupin announced he was a father? That man is so hot ..... !

And I loved the epilogue. I loved that Harry lived, that Harry and Ginny married and had children, that one of them was named Albus Severus (for two great headmasters). I loved that some kids were staring at Harry, but his own kids didn't know why. I loved that Lupin and Tonks' son Teddy was snogging Victoire (the oldest child of Bill and Fleur Weasley). I loved that Ron and Hermione had married and had children, that Ron was even learning to drive by Muggle rules! (OK, he had to use the Confundus charm, but we'll let it go.)

As I said, I loved it.

So, after reading the book (I finished it on Saturday night) I sat down with all of the predictions that friends had made on the HPANA thread (you have to create an account there to look at it). While my husband was reading the book, I was compiling the predictions (we were mostly wrong) and posting them. I was also talking with my friends on HPANA and emailing my Harry Potter friends and, oh, yes, I was showing up for work in there somewhere!

So, this month has basically gone quickly, what with moving Ed's mom's stuff into our place, seeing the 5th Harry Potter film, awaiting the 7th Harry Potter book, and trying to get some laundry done in the meantime.

Yes, other stuff has been going on (my friend Miriam broke her wrist, Ed had an interview but nothing came of it, the stationery shop will be moving, I've had computer problems at home), but my brain is too freakin' fried to cope with it all. Besides, it's not all that interesting.

Paraskavedekatriaphobia

2007-07-13T08:39:00.000-05:00

That's an irrational fear of Friday the 13th (the date, not the films -- which were enough to send anyone screaming from the theaters, not because they were frightening but because they were frighteningly bad, but that's another story).

According to an item in USA Today, this phobia affects approximately 21 million people in the USA (although the source for this statistic isn't sharing his/her data).

Personally, I'd not have known it was "Friday the 13th" until someone or something (such as an article in USA Today) pointed it out. In my mind, today is not a bad luck day. It's the 13th of the month.

And, as it turns out, the 13th of July is also the wedding anniversary of one of my sisters and her husband, and to them I wish all happiness and good health.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

2007-07-12T06:27:00.000-05:00

This was an enjoyable film, certainly of the quality of all of the ones that preceded it, if not better simply because a lot of the younger actors have gotten better at acting. I can understand why some reviewers criticized it as choppy. Had I not been familiar with the book, I'd have felt forced uncomfortably from one event to the next in at least the first half or two-thirds of the film. The last section, starting from the scene with the fireworks, I think, hung together very well.

I've read an article from salon.com that is a Q&A with Michael Goldenberg, the writer who adapted this book for the screen. I can certainly sympathize with the problems of adapting the story from the page (a medium which is nearly limitless for story telling) to the screen (a medium which is primarily visual and therefore has certain limitations for story telling). I don't think he was as successful with the last few minutes of this film, however. Harry is merely walking with his friends to catch the Hogwarts Express back to London and he remarks that the friendship he has with Ron, Hermione, et al., is what makes him different from Voldemort. I think this story needed that little bit of a twinkle-in-the-eye ending, the kind that the book gave us when Mad-Eye Moody, Tonks, and Lupin (with the Weasleys and the Grangers standing nearby, no doubt) told the Dursleys that they (the Dursleys) had better treat Harry well. I was looking forward to Mad-Eye tipping his hat so that his funky eye would wink at Uncle Vernon. To me, that would have been the ultimate show of friendship -- we'll stand up for you against the people who should love you but don't.

I sincerely hope there are extended versions of these films offered eventually on DVD. I'm talking about the kind where the deleted scenes are fully integrated with the film. It would be nice to see a fuller story.

And, as I've often said, it would be nice to see these books adapted into a more detailed form such as a television mini-series. I'm thinking of the great work that was done with the 6-hour Pride & Prejudice, which told that story and conveyed the manners of the period in great depth. Yes, it would be a huge undertaking, but I'm sure it would pay billions in revenues!

"Anerkannt rings im Land. . ."

2007-07-03T10:06:00.000-05:00

Belle Miriam Silverman, a.k.a. Beverly Sills
May 25, 1929 – July 2, 2007

Atlantis Space Shuttle at Offutt

2007-07-02T09:40:00.001-05:00

The Atlantis Space Shuttle landed (on the back of a NASA 747) at Offutt AFB yesterday. It was a stopover on its way back to Florida. Bad flying weather south of us caused the overnight detour.

It took off this morning around 8:00 a.m. One of my co-workers got this picture and shared it with all of us.

Topless Car Wash -- One of my favorites

2007-07-01T21:26:00.001-05:00

Something about June?

2007-07-01T21:11:00.000-05:00

It's odd that a number of the blogs I usually check seem to have had a post sometime around June 23 - 26 and then no more. Are we all on break?

This is the first weekend when I've been pretty much free. Not completely free -- I had to go into my full-time job on Saturday to make up some time I missed due to being with my DH on Thursday -- but pretty much free. We even went to see a movie on Saturday, the new Die Hard film (which could easily have been titled, "If it moves, blow it up").

This morning I went to the pool and did 30 minutes of water aerobics with my friend Richard, then went back to sleep when I got home. It was communion Sunday at my church, and I'm just not comfortable with that yet. ("Do we all eat this now? How long do I have to hold onto this? Can't we just do it like the Catholics and eat it when it's handed to us? Can we have real wine next time?") And I slept a lot today. I've been so tired, and it's no wonder.

Our house is full of boxes and stuff. I'm not looking forward to the work ahead of us.

Check out the KFYS Club Blog

2007-06-23T21:46:00.001-05:00

OK you knitters who keep coming over here -- check out the KFYS Club Blog (find the link at right) for a cool YouTube video about men who knit!

Wrap. Pack. Seal. Lift. Repeat.

2007-06-18T06:06:00.000-05:00

I've spent a total of 14.5 hours this past week in sorting and packing items in my mother-in-law's apartment. Some of the stuff goes to charities. Some of it goes to Ed's sister in Florida. Some of it goes to us. Some of it gets tossed.

The majority of stuff for Ed's sister will have to be professionally packed and shipped. She had set aside some other things that I packed yesterday into four boxes.

The stuff for us isn't going but 2 miles (the distance between the apartment and our house), but we've got about 6 big boxes (18 x 18 x 24) of stuff just because we're still packing it with bubble wrap and such to keep it padded. I never knew one person could have so much crystal, silver, and copper!

Items for donation so far comprise 4 of the big boxes, but we haven't started in on the kitchen yet. Plus there are books.

And this doesn't count the furniture. Yesterday we helped my SIL Deb's daughter and fiance load up some glass and chrome tables. Five of them were end tables, so they were manageable. The six was a huge coffee table and the pane of glass for it was so freakin' heavy that it took 3 of us to transport it.

My shoulders hurt. I hurt.

In Memoriam

2007-06-10T20:09:00.001-05:00

Anne Ross Brodnicki
February 21, 1922 — June 7, 2007

The Danish Food Network — Cooking with James!

2007-05-29T06:36:00.000-05:00

My younger brother hamming it up in a community parade this weekend. Here's what his wife (my SIL Deb) wrote to us about it:

"I thought you might get a kick out of seeing these pictures of James in our Tivoli Fest Parade this weekend. (Notice his chef hat and apron - he borrowed it from my step dad Virgil). He was featured on the float by Marne Elk Horn Telephone Company. The theme of Tivoli Fest this year was A Taste of Denmark. Their float was entitled Cooking with James. ... James had rigged up a lap top computer on the float and it was playing music by James Brown, I Feel Good!

"He did great! And the rest of the Marne Elk Horn Tele. crew was walking alongside handing out bags of muffins to the crowd, which from what people said, was a hit. They didn't win first place but they were still great. The girls at the office always come up with something cute. James said he thinks he'll be safe for another 8 years now and can go back to driving the pickup again pulling the float like he's done in years past.

"It was raining hard early in the morning and James was sure hoping the parade would be canceled. We lucked out though and the weather turned out great by 11:00 and it was perfect for both Sat. and Sun. We had pretty good crowds too. ... I'm hoping I can get my new Danish chef to cook more at home now. This morning he even cooked me eggs for breakfast!"

15th Anniversary

2007-05-25T09:55:00.000-05:00

My DH and I celebrated our 15th Wedding Anniversary last night with some folks. The actual date of the anniversary was Wednesday, but the pastor couldn't make it until last night so we held it then.

My DH cooked up a feast: cheese puffs and two cheesecakes (one chocolate, one plain); in addition we had cheese and crackers and some veggie dip. There were fresh veggies and fresh fruit, as well as wine and soft drinks.

Sorry, but we didn't have the wherewithall to remember to get everyone together when all of us were in the same room. (Blame it on the wine. Or the cheesecake. Not sure.)

Anyway, seated: Lorna (knitting friend, on left) and Richard (walking pal, on right)
Standing (from left): Me, James (massage therapist par excellance), and Miriam (knitting friend). And that's Charka dog on the floor.

Behind the camera: Ed.

Not pictured: Helen (who used to work with me at Bozell advertising), Winston (the pastor), Louise and Wayne (Village Stationery owners), and a whole lot of people who just couldn't make it.

We'd originally invited a lot of people who'd been at our wedding 15 years ago, plus a few dear friends we've made since then. As it turned out, only one friend from 15 years ago could make it! We'd have done better to have held the party over at Sit and Knit at my favorite yarn shop so that more friends could have participated!

Well, that's just how it goes.

Another Silly Dream

2007-05-18T08:01:00.000-05:00

I don't know where I come up with these dreams I have, but they are kind of funny. And most of the time they seem like stories I'm trying to write while I'm asleep.

So, in the dream I had before I woke this morning, I had stumbled into the filiming of a television commercial. I believe it was for a specific brand of cycling shorts. Honest.

Somehow I'd gotten myself into this commercial that featured (brace yourself) Arnold Schwarzenegger and some other actress (whose name and face were unrecognizable in the dream). Arnold was supposed to be some sort of great bicyclist, but he didn't have the right shorts to wear. I was the character who was to point out that didn't didn't have the right shorts. Then this other actress was supposed to come in (like some sort of rescuing angel) to give him the shorts he needed.

And it was all done in a quasi-opera style.

(Note: Do you remember when there was a cereal commercial that was done in opera style? I'll never forget the actor singing ruefully, "No more Rice Krispies!" to the tune of "Vesta la giubba" -- the well-known aria from Pagliacci.)

But it was being sung in Spanish, not Italian.

When it came to my cue to sing something like, "He has the wrong shorts," I decided to ad lib by adding that, in having the wrong shorts, Arnold also looked very ugly and foolish.

Cut to the end of shooting the commercial. The people who are with me (presumably an agent of some sort) are scared because they think I've upset everyone, but they just want to get me out of there before anyone starts screaming at me.

We are walking down a street and talking about it. I'm defending myself saying that it just came into my head and seemed to be the right thing to do. They're still shaking their heads. (My agent and some guy who I think was my publicist, and some gal who was a kind of friend or hanger-on.)

Next, we stop into a little cafe. The agent comes in grudgingly. This is the sort of cafe where only the stars hang out. They are getting manicures and facials along with their salads. Honest! So, we are standing in the doorway not being noticed until the guy who was my publicist says something to the maitre d' that I'm the person who made this latest commercial very famous.

Oh, all of a sudden we're being seated and the chef is offering me all sorts of amazing food (lobster this and linguini that). I tell him that I just like some soup, but that my friends might like something to eat. This chef goes off in a huff because none of us want his rich food.

While we're sitting there and eating, the actress who was to have been the rescuing angel of that commercial sort of slinks in. Apparently her career is on a downhill slide and my upstaging of her has sealed the deal. She is practically persona non grata at this point.

And then it gets weirder: A kind of wall comes up from the floor to partition off the restaurant so that some actors can attend some kind of anonymous self-help/therapy group. It's a therapy group for actors who are having problems with their careers and/or their self-image and whatever else. And Arnold is one of those attending.

Then I woke up.

I have no idea what it means (if anything at all), but it was fun!

Only in the U.S.

2007-05-17T07:48:00.000-05:00

...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can uy cigarettes at the front.

...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

...do we have drive-up ATMs with Braille lettering.

Just don't hold me to the purity part, OK?

2007-05-15T12:45:00.000-05:00

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Perhaps You Should Adjust Your Television (by tuning into a different program)

2007-05-14T06:58:00.000-05:00

From an article in the The New York Times:

"...it is troubling that even in escapist fantasies, today’s heroines have to be weak, needy and oversexed to be liked by women and desired by men."

While is article is mainly about the television program Grey's Anatomy (a show I don't watch), it is also about the image of women in prime-time. I'm sorely depressed that this show is so popular if, indeed, it portrays women as it does.

I struggle so much with my own self-image. Now I understand some of what I'm struggling against.

StoryCorps for Mother's Day

2007-05-13T15:26:00.000-05:00

The StoryCorps booth is in Omaha until the beginning of June. We took my mother-in-law, Anne, today to do an interview about her life growing up in Brooklyn and about living in Nurnberg after WWII. This is a picture of Anne with her son (my DH) Ed.

And this is Lena (left), the recording technician with StoryCorps, talking with Anne before we started. It turned out that Lena, too, had grown up in Brooklyn, so they had a lot to talk about.

It was a very positive experience, and I encourage everyone to check out the StoryCorps site to see whether it will be in your neighborhood any time soon. They were great to deal with, and we have a wonderful CD of the interview, about 30 minutes in all.

Low Self Esteem among Paris Hilton Fans

2007-05-08T13:57:00.000-05:00

From a news item on the USA Today web site about Paris Hilton appealing the judge's ruling that she go to prison. Apparently about 900 people have signed a petition that contains, among other things, the justification for a pardon on the grounds that Miss Hilton provides

". . . beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives."

Had I known beauty and excitement are the new terms for "slutty and wreckless," I'd have hired my own publicist long ago! Of course, I'd have had to work at the "slutty" part.

Good grief, for the first time in her life someone says "No" to this child and she throws a hissy fit. And her fans are behind her on this one!

Did anyone read the article about her sentencing? My heavens, even this girl's mother was in la-la land! Here's a quote from that story:

As a city prosecutor said during closing arguments that Hilton deserved jail time, Hilton's mother, Kathy, laughed. When the judge ruled, Kathy Hilton then blurted out: "May I have your autograph?"

The mother then went on to say of the sentence (45 days in county jail):

"... This is pathetic and disgusting, a waste of taxpayer money with all this nonsense. This is a joke."

I shudder to think what this says about parenting in our society, to say nothing of proper self-esteem and the cult of celebrity. God, save me from this nonsense!

Still Fighting

2007-05-07T08:58:00.000-05:00

OK, I still have this crud. I'm feeling better, but I'm not quite 100% yet. I think that the recent spate of rain has brought out the pollen (flowers and trees are blooming left and right), so my allergies are getting mixed in with the crud. But I'm hanging in there.

On Quarters Today (again!)

2007-04-30T11:11:00.000-05:00

For the past three weeks or so my husband has been fighting some kind of nasty cold virus. I, on the other hand, have been in excellent health.

Until Saturday night. It hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. It started as a little bit of a sore throat around 8 pm, then came on strong around 11 pm. I considered going to a local clinic on Sunday morning, but the last time I went they basically said, "Live with it," and didn't give me anything to fight it. So, I stayed home, in bed, and felt miserable all day: Headache, body aches, sore throat, swollen glands, hard to swallow, nasty yellow gunk from my nose. . . you get the idea.

I'll be seeing my own doctor today at 1:40 p.m. My husband went in last Friday and they finally gave him an antibiotic. Lo and behold, he's feeling a whole lot better today and was able to go to work. I'm hoping my dr. will be convinced of the connection and prescribe an antibiotic for me. Every time I've had some kind of infection (URI, strep throat) it has felt like this. I know what I have. Gimme the drugs, dammit!

As I write, the orange tabby (Tucker cat) is entertaining me with his Rambo-on-a-wad-of-paper shtick. If there were an Academy Awards for cats, Tucker would win paws down!

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2007-04-19T16:43:00.000-05:00

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Hmmmmm....

2007-04-14T22:04:00.000-05:00

I seem to be fighting some kind of bug again. On Wednesday, after I went home, I was up after an hour with diarrhea and nauseousnous (sp?), then slept until about 1:00 p.m. and went to my afternoon job. I was fine for the rest of the day.

On Friday I started to get one of my sinus migraines -- whether from a change in the weather or because I'd been cutting up some dusty boxes, I don't know -- but I went home early from my afternoon job, slept for about an hour, then woke up with a worse headache and feeling sick to my stomach again really badly. (If you vomit up the Pepto-Bismol, should you take more?) I couldn't eat until about 10:00 p.m., and then just a hard-boiled egg.

I had a bit of the headache this morning, but all of my drugs shooed it away and I basically felt fine, but very tired. Then the diarrhea came again. I wonder what in the world is going on?

Anyway, I'm finishing up some knitting projects and all seems to be well on that end. Also, I've been devouring some of Ian Rankin's books, the Inspector Rebus series. These are police procedurals set in and around Edinburgh. Rankin writes well, develops his characters admirably, and tells a great story. It's been putting me in mind of writing again.

Well, when I get the time again. LOL!