At least I'm not 14 any more

I woke up late this morning. Actually, I woke up when the alarm went off, then I reached over and turned off the alarm before falling asleep again. So, I woke at about 8:15 a.m., got my act together in a hurry (gym clothes in the bag, flash drive around my neck, clean clothes for me, brush teeth, run brush through hair, find wallet, run back into the house for cell phone) and was on the way to the office by 8:30 a.m. On the way out of my neighborhood, I punched in my boss's number and, having reached her, let her know I'd be late. She hadn't had any coffee yet, but she was just fine about it.

So, I punched the "off" button the phone and I ..... started crying.

And then I remembered that I'd not taken my meds yesterday. Or the day before that.

So, it's official: I'm hormonal. Or, more accurately, my body is having a bad reaction to not having the regular hormone flow it used to have before the hysterectomy. I've been on Premarin (yep, Pregnant Mare Urine) and, if I missed a few days in the past couple of months, it's been no big deal. Now, I miss 2 days and I'm having a hormone storm.

Remember in the original Star Trek series when they would encounter an ion storm? "Keptin," Scotty would say over the intercom, "we canno' beam them oot. It's an ion storm an' she's blowin' oot the cupplin's" -- or something like that. And then Mr. Spock would concur, "It would seem the ion storm is interfering with all communications, Captain. Fascinating."

Well, that's what a hormone storm is: It wreaks havoc with all systems and you just have to ride it out. All communication that isn't shut down ( "Don't talk to me!" ) is impaired somewhat ( What did he really mean by saying "It's OK" -- was he being sarcastic? ), and very little of anything else gets through.

But, if I take my pills as I should, I don't have this problem.

I know, I know — everyone (or, I should say, every woman) has her own theory of how to handle these things with nutrition alone: Eat more soy protein! Eat less refined sugar! No white sugar and no white flour! Reduce your caffeine intake! Less carbs! Less fat! While I accept that what I eat has an effect on how I feel and how I perform, the fact of the matter is that I believe more in taking my medications regularly instead of attempting to medicate myself through food. Let's face it: I've been attempting that since childhood and all it has done is give me about 100 lbs extra on my big old frame.

OK, I still believe that chocolate will ward off the effects of the Dementors ("Chocolate is an effective first aid to mild cases of contact."), but other than that I don't see much else that has worked.

So, to my list of New Year's Resolutions: Take the !@#$%!@@$!ing pills every day.