Tuesday, October 30, 2007

In honor of my "coming out" tomorrow . . .

Hampshire Constabulary Advertise on City Bus

This was sent to me by Roger in the U.K. Apparently the Hampshire police didn't take into account the positioning of the tailpipe on the bus.

Monday, October 29, 2007


Well, I completely blew off any ideas of cleaning this weekend prior to going in for surgery on Wednesday. I spent most of Saturday with my mom, and then I slept on Sunday afternoon (after church and prior to taking my sister Mary to dinner). Also, I went to bed last night at 10:30 p.m., but I'm still tired today.

I wanted to clean out the laundry room. I wanted to clean up the bedroom. I wanted to get all of the laundry done and put away. I wanted the bedroom cleared out of crap so that I could come home from the hospital and just rest without having to worry about what might be underfoot if I got up from bed to use the bathroom.


Wednesday can't quite come soon enough for me. I really want this done. I want to be in the recovery part. I'm not looking forward to waking up with pain and grogginess and all of the rest of the crap that comes from having an operation. And I'm not looking forward to all of the last-minute requests for things to get done before I'm gone.

I have Jim B. (massage therapist extraordinaire) scheduled to come on Tuesday evening to give me a massage. I'm having lunch on Tuesday with some friends.

Whatever. I'm tired. I'd rather be in bed!

Friday, October 19, 2007

Another Meme

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:00

2. Diamonds or pearls? I can't have both????

3. What was the last film you saw at the movies?
I think the last one we saw was Stardust, and it was hilarious.

4. What is your favorite TV show?

5. What do you usually have for breakfast?
An Egg McMuffin

6. What is your middle name?
Jesus. (Every time my dad was mad at me he'd say, "Judith, Jesus!")

7. What food do you dislike?

8. What is your favorite CD?
Paul Simon's "Graceland"

9. What kind of car do you drive?
Pontiac Grand Am

10. Favorite sandwich?
Fried Egg

11. What characteristics do you despise?
Arrogance and (conversely, I suppose) helplessness

12. Favorite item of clothing?
My jeans.

13. If you could go anywhere in the world for a vacation, where would you go?
All over Europe and the UK.

14. What color is your bathroom?

15. Favorite brand of clothing?
If it fits, it's my favorite.

16. Where would you retire?

17. Favorite movie?

18. Favorite Sport to watch?
Women's gymnastics

19. Furthest place you are sending this?
Wherever the web reaches

20. Who do you expect to send this back to you?
It doesn't matter.

21. Person you expect to send it back first?

22. Favorite saying?
"The question you never ask always has an answer of No."

23. When is your birthday?
In June.

24. Are you a morning person or a night person?
I'm an afternoon-evening person.

25. What is your shoe size?
On a good day, 9-1/2 wide.

26. Pets?
Charka, Scratch, Nip, and Tuck.

27. What did you want to be when you were little?

28. What are you today?

29. What is your favorite candy?
Starburst (original)

30. What is your favorite flower?
All of them.

31. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?

32. Who would you most like to meet, either living or dead?
Jane Austen

33. What are you listening to right now?
The rattle of the heating / AC unit in my office.

34. What was the last thing you ate?

36. Do you believe in Angels?
Yes. In fact, I'm so busy that I have a rotating shift of three to look after me.

37. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Whatever freakin' color I need at the moment.

38. What is your pet peeve?
I have several, including political slander (instead of talking about real issues), slow drivers, and being late.

39. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
My wonderful friend Lorna.

41. Favorite soft drink?
Diet Pepsi.

42. Favorite restaurant?
Alas, it is no more, but my favorite was and probably will be the Nebraska Beef Company.

43. Hair Color?
Unsettled. Sort of blonde, sort of brown, and bits of grey creeping in.

44. Siblings?

45. Favorite day of the year?

46. What was your favorite toy as a child?
A doll

47. Summer or Winter?

48. Hugs or kisses?
Screw that, I want torrid sex!

49. Chocolate or Vanilla?
And caramel with pecans and raspberries.

50. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back?

51. When was the last time you cried?

52. What is under your bed?
Carpet and dust.

53. Who is the friend you've had longest?
Debra in Canada. We've been penpals since 1973.

54. What did you do last night?
Knit, watched television, knit, watched television, played on the computer, read, slept.

55. Favorite smell?
Whatever my husband is cooking.

56. What are you afraid of?
Nuclear holocaust

57. How many keys on your key ring?

58. How many years at your current job?
More than 5

59. Favorite day of the week?

60. How many towns have you lived in?

61. Do you make friends easily?

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Time for something silly

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only and they must be made from bee's wax and preblessed by a Bishop totally in communion with Rome at the time of the blessing.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.

Church of God: Might be changed next year if light bulbs are included in next year's budget, included in next year's goals, and the church board has a vision that they even need light bulbs.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unity: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Unitarian: Undetermined. "Our only dogmatic belief is that we are all free to disagree. In Unitarianism the significance of change takes precedence over the both the light bulb and the number of congregates needed to implement its change. We are currently accepting poems and meditations dealing with this subject to be published in an anthology to be used at our annual meeting of Unitarian ministers and those who fail to see a need for them."

United Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved -- you can be a light bulb, turnip bulb,or tulip bulb. Churchwide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans (Missouri Synod): None. We don't believe in change.

Lutherans (all others): We agree with the Roman Catholic statement but lovingly suggest ecumenical discussions concerning the status of the bishop.

Amish: What's a light bulb?

Jehovah's Witnesses: None. The lights are on but no one's home.


How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Californians can't afford the electricity.

How many aging hippies does it take to change a lightbulb? Wow, man, like, I can't do this counting thing, but the experience is, like, way out there, you know?

How many computer programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Lightbulbs are a hardware problem.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Ooops! It was October 4th!

"next to of course god america i
love you land of the pilgrims' and so forth oh
say can you see by the dawn's early my
country 'tis of centuries come and go
and are no more what of it we should worry
in every language even deafanddumb
thy sons acclaim your glorious name by gorry
by jingo by gee by gosh by gum
why talk of beauty what could be more beaut-
iful than these heroic happy dead
who rushed like lions to the roaring slaughter
they did not stop to think they died instead
then shall the voice of liberty be mute?"

He spoke. And drank rapidly a glass of water

-- e. e. cummings

Seriously. I heard it announced on the radio that today was National Poetry Day, but the official web site states that it was October 4th. Of course, that's a UK web site, but, really, shouldn't the land of the Bard be the one that determines the date? Anyway, I posted a real poem above, one of my favorites (considering all of the patriotic blather I'm subjected to).

I'd heard it was National Poetry Day

Here goes . . .

Roses are red;
Violets are blue.
Not all poetry
Has to rhyme.

I don't know where I picked up that bit of doggerel, but I love it!

Thursday, October 04, 2007

My Dream Home

Your home is a

Magic Muse's Stronghold

Your master bedroom has a bedside table with a pad for writing down late-night inspirations.

Your home also includes a gallery of your favorite works -- the originals, of course.

And, you have a pet -- a cat named "Vincent".

Below is a snippet of the blueprints:

Find YOUR Dream House!