August 30, 1944 — January 31, 2007
The first rule of holes: when you're in one, stop digging.
In Texas, we do not hold high expectations for the [governor's] office; it's mostly been occupied by crooks, dorks and the comatose.
I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
If he gets even more sedate, we will have to water him twice a week. [Molly Ivins about then-President Ronald Reagan]
If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drillin' rights on that man's head. [Molly Ivins on Dick Armey]
Last week, I began a sentence by saying, "If Bush had any imagination ..." and then I hit myself. Silly me.
As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.
Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented.
It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America.